It can be immensely empowering, liberating, and even refreshing to start dating again after hitting 40. However, it also comes with its own set of problems and drawbacks. Men who start dating after their 40s have found some seriously perturbing traits on the part of the women in their age bracket. These traits might seem harmless at first glance but they evince the potential to utterly wreck any relationship that these women get into. No wonder men find these traits so unattractive and unappealing in women over 40. Read on and learn about these traits right here.
Perpetual Negativity
Catastrophizing, being utterly pessimistic, and complaining all the time about everything are some of the defining characteristics of women over 40. They might consider this to be realism or pragmatism, but men simply see it as a hurdle to achieving connection with them, one that they can’t overcome no matter how much they strive.
Emotional Guarding
Men appreciate a stong woman but when she remains emotionally unavailable and disguises it as strength, then it makes her off-putting and unappealing for men. Sharing vulnerabilities and being open with someone is the path to attaining palpable chemistry, something that these women lack greatly.
Talking About the Past Only
The past is something that defines us; it makes us who we are. However, it doesn’t mean that one should remain stuck in it or constantly narrate anecdotes from it to the one who is with you here right now, in the moment. Such tendencies on the part of women make men feel like they are competing with ghosts from her past whom they just can’t exorcise or beat.
Rigid Expectations About Men
It can get exhausting after a while, listening to women vent about men being terrible, incapable of change, and utterly chauvinistic creeps. But that is just what these women do when they end up going on a date. Their rigid expectations towards men leave little room for understanding or potential for striking something real with the guy sitting across from them at the table.
Resistance to Change
These women are intensely set in their ways. They have lived long lives and have developed a remarkable unwillingness to adapt or change in any way. Be it socially, emotionally, or mentally, men find that these women are set in their daily routines and are unwilling to change for anyone or anything, making the prospect of achieving a genuine connection next to impossible.
Too Much Independence
Independence is great and all but when these women scramble to make it their chief, defining trait, then it gets a bit tiresome. They will refuse help, slap away the hand of partnership extended to them, and won’t compromise at all. It makes men feel like there is no place in the lives of these women for them and the roles that they can offer in a relationship.
Constant Comparison to Younger Women
Men tend to notice when these women ardently pursue and attempt to compete with women far younger than them. They don’t seem to realize that youth has passed them by and it is now time to act, dress, and conduct themselves accordingly with their age. Still, these women compete with younger women and this not only erodes their self-confidence but also drains a man’s interest in them.
Using Sarcasm as a Shield
Everyone loves humor; it is a great icebreaker. What they don’t like is sarcasm dialed all the way up to maximum. It makes a man feel belittled, ridiculed, and even embarrassed. These women might be using it as a shield but instead of protecting themselves, they are simply using it to bash away any attempts made by men to strike an authentic and sincere connection with them.
Unresolved Resentment Toward Men
These women have lingering anger from their past relationships that still remains unresolved and unprocessed. It tends to leak into their new connections and creates resentment, stress, and tension before it has had a chance to flourish. Bonds can’t be formed where trust disappears before it has had a chance to manifest itself.
No More Effort Towards Self-Care
Men aren’t demanding when it comes to self embellishment but they do appreciate some effort expended towards this aspect. But the thing is, women in their 40s stop spending much time or exerting themselves when it comes to self-care under the guise of “not caring anymore.” They don’t realize that letting go of this aspect signals disengagement to men instead of authenticity.
Overly Critical Communication
Women over 40 who are overly critical of the men that they date immediately repel them. The way they frequently correct them and judge them while masking it as constructive criticism grates on men’s nerves. They feel like they are interviewing for a position that they never applied for and it frustrates them to no end.
Emotional Testing and Games
These women are wont to conducting subtle tests, withholding affection to get their way, and even creating scenarios replete with drama to assess the interest and investment of men; however, these moves often backfire on them because men, especially the emotionally mature ones, aren’t willing to endure this manipulation.
Fully Defined Identity
These women have made motherhood or career the palpable and prominent defining point of their lives. This is admirable for men, like a woman who takes pride in her work or motherhood. However, if she loses herself in them and lets them overrun her curiosity or passion to understand or connect with someone new, then men lose all attraction in the relationship pretty fast.
Decisions Made Out of Fear
These women let fear rule their behavior. They avoid risk by any means necessary, be it emotional or romantic. Men feel like these women close the door on any opportunity that comes knocking for achieving something true, real, and authentic before it has a chance to actually begin.
Dismissing Romance as Unrealistic
Romance is the main ingredient that makes a relationship strong and thriving. However, when a woman acts all cynical and dismisses love bluntly, then men take this as a profound dealbreaker. Men want affection, tenderness, and care from the women they date, something that these women over 40 seemingly are incapable of according them.
Final Thoughts
Men don’t want perfection from the women that they date after 40, just a bit of understanding and willingness to give them a chance. They don’t want women to be too critical, rigid, or emotionally guarded, traits that these women over 40 have instilled in their psyche to a fault. But things can change for the better provided they are willing to do so.
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