Every man is under the impression that women cherish lavish dinners, gifts, and trips. While it is true to an extent, women remember how you treated them when they were down even more vividly. The way you treated her in the moments when she was hurt, exhausted, or uncertain will far outweigh the manner in which she was treated when everything was good. These moments will define how she sees you for real, not the version she sees when love is flowing and easy.
When You Treated Her Emotions as “Too Much”
Women don’t forget how something actually felt, even if they can’t remember the exact words that were used. You build barriers when you dismiss her emotions, and instead of calming her down, it makes her grow distant. You can try to honor what she says, even if you don’t agree with it. The trust in your relationship starts to erode the moment you belittle her thoughts and make her feel small.
The Way You Handled Her Silence
When a woman goes silent, she remembers the man who checked in, inquired about her issues, and made her feel reassured by sharing in her pain. She will also remember the one who chose to ignore her, let her wallow in her sadness, and increased her anxiety. Guess which one she will trust more in the future?
When Her Pain Became About You Instead of Her
A woman will remember that when she shared her pain and problems with her man, he instead twisted it into a matter concerning him. A man who laments about his own pressures and issues when a woman shares her problems with him loses all face. She begins to lose any emotional connection that she had in the relationship.
The Moments You Vanished When She Needed You to Stay
A woman remembers the man who vanished on her in her moment of need. Granted, everyone gets busy, but sometimes you have to show up for your woman. It shows to her that you love and value her. A man who disappears in her moment of need loses reliability and signals to her that he simply isn’t interested in the relationship.
The Way You Handled Her Tears
Men find crying to be an uncomfortable act. However, for women, it is a way to vent and let their feelings out. When they break down in tears, they want a man who can reassure them that all will be well. He holds them in his arms and gives them the courage and strength that they need. They will remember that man, but not as much as the one who trivialized her issues, mocked her tears, or even treated her with a cold indifference during these times.
When You Rushed to Cheer Her Up Instead of Letting Her Be Heard
Men want to alleviate and resolve pain because they find it uncomfortable. But when they rush to resolve the issue at hand or delineate the positive sides too soon, they minimize the pain she’s experiencing. The best thing, sometimes, is to just remain quiet and sit by her side. Let her vent, cry, and just be silent. Your presence and silent reinforcement will do wonders.
How You Acted Towards the Little Things She Did
Small efforts can take a toll on her, especially when you are struggling. She will remember if you noticed the little things that she brought to the relationship, like making breakfast, sending texts, running errands, and more. She will remember you fondly if you expressed gratitude and made her feel valued and visible. Likewise, she will also remember when you made her feel useless and insignificant by not noticing at all during these tough times.
When You Made Her Feel Like a Burden
This one is very hurtful. A woman who is told that her sadness is too much or too heavy will withdraw from the relationship. She will remain quiet and keep her pain to herself. She will become dissatisfied with the relationship, which will eventually lead to its utter collapse.
The Way You Acted When She Withdrew
A woman usually withdraws from everything when she is feeling burned out and overwhelmed. She needs to be treated with patience and given the space she needs under such circumstances. Men who constantly pester her are regarded as immature and annoying, and women tend to remember them negatively.
The Way You Made Fun of Her Coping Methods
A woman might engage in a variety of activities to cope with her issues. She might journal, grow silent, vent, and cry about it. She will remember the man who mocked her coping mechanisms more vividly than the one who treated her with respect and understanding in this regard.
The Words You Said During Arguments
Words can cut deeply, especially during arguments. During the heat of these verbal fights, some words might get uttered that hurt a woman intensely. They remember the man who mocked, belittled, and condescended to her during these fights. Words can’t be taken back, and she will carry the pain of these words for a long time after the argument concludes.
The Way You Treated Her When She Showed Her Vulnerability
When a woman shows her vulnerabilities to a man, she is basically testing his capacity for according safety. A man who treats her with open mockery, disdain, and indifference will fall out of grace and lose all credibility with her. A real man will listen to her, reassure her, and reaffirm his intent to stay by her side.
The Way You Handled Her Pain
Women lose all respect and trust in a man who belittles her pain and tells her to grit her teeth and get over it. It kills intimacy and connection in the relationship beyond any hope of restoration. On the other hand, a man who handles her pain seriously and gives it the attention and care that it deserves will always be loved and regarded with intense pride by his woman.
The Way You Made Her Feel Beautiful
Women can experience feelings of anxiety and uncertainty over their appearance. She might think she’s looking overweight, exhausted, or simply not beautiful. A man who dispels her fears and reassures her that he still finds her beautiful enhances the emotional connection in the relationship. A woman loves a man who makes her feel desired even when she’s not feeling it.
The Way You Stood By Her
Women want a man who can stand by her in tough times, even when everyone else has abandoned them. She wants a man she can rely on, one who supports and uplifts her even when family, friends, and all others have left her. That is the kind of man who successfully deepens both love and trust in the relationship. She will cherish him and will drop the one who bolts immediately from her life.
Final Thoughts
Women have strong memories and they remember the good and the bad that comes from the men in their love lives. A man who remains patient, loving, and consistent will always be remembered positively.
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