Modern dating, for all its egalitarian claims, is not equal at all. It sounds pretty good in principle but in reality and practice, modern dating is completely biased, with its favor tilted permanently in the woman’s favor. There are no concrete rules either, just expectations that men are to accept without objection or questioning. These expectations are enforced via social norms, the myriad of dating apps that are prevalent, and unspoken judgment. These dating rules are rigid in their implementation upon men, while women are excused from them entirely. It has made dating a difficult endeavor for men, with some even getting irrevocably disgruntled with the entire prospect. Read on and learn about these dating rules that only apply to men in modern times right here.
Making the First Move
Initiating conversations by sending the first message, inviting her out to dinner, expressing his interest, and even going in for the first kiss, these are all expectations that modern dating makes of men. Women are spared from them and unlike men, they aren’t penalized or rebuked for waiting for the right moment or time to manifest.
Paying on Early Dates
Men are expected tacitly to pick up the check and pay for everything, at least on the first few dates. Nowadays, women have thriving and stable careers and steady incomes as well, but they aren’t expected to pay for their part of the expenses incurred on a date. Rather, if a man doesn’t offer to pay for the date, then he is labeled stingy and judged profoundly. Women don’t get judged for this aspect in the least.
Leading the Date
Men have to make all the plans and lead in everything when it comes to the date. They have to choose the venue, plan out all the activities for the date, manage and steer the conversation, and keep everything together. This creates unnecessary stress for men, while women remain blissfully unaware since they are exempt from all of it.
Being Penalized for Showing Nervousness
Men have to be confident and self-assured when they show up for a date. They can’t afford to be anxious, nervous, or unsure of anything. If they do, then they will be called weak, awkward, and unattractive. The ironic part is that the same awkwardness is called “cute” and “bashfulness” when it comes to women.
Being Adequately Strong Emotionally
Men must be strong emotionally and be willing to open up to women. However, they must remember to practice restraint and not indulge in oversharing because women don’t like that and it decimates their attraction in their eyes. This is a double standard that doesn’t apply to women who are lauded and praised for being emotionally open and revealing their fears, ambitions, and vulnerabilities without any restraint or compunctions.
Being Judged for Financial Status
If a man doesn’t possess a certain level of financial security and health, then you can bet that he will be judged harshly for it. His income, ambition, and financial stability will be questioned and assessed before any woman decides to go out with him. On the other hand, a woman might not be earning anything but she won’t be reproached or questioned for it. But when it comes to dating standards, she will still want the guy with big bucks, the fancy car, and the stylish attire without offering almost nothing in return.
Being Entertaining
It is the man’s fault if the date turns out to be a disappointment or the evening gets terribly boring. After all, he has to initiate the conversation, make the light jokes, and keep everything light and entertaining. The woman certainly won’t have to do anything of the sort. She is there to be courted, impressed, and entertained by the man without offering any contribution or efforts towards making the evening remarkable and successful.
Being Criticized for Lack of Experience
Men who have little experience in dating or sexual encounters are seen as boring or even worse, undateable, by women. Women, on the other hand, aren’t judged along the same lines, even if any of them openly flaunts it on their date or on social media.
Handling Rejection Gracefully
The man is expected to gracefully and civilly accept rejection and politely walk away from the dinner table while remaining silent and keeping his emotions in check. On the other hand, women can show visible disappointment, vent, and make a scene when they are rejected or dropped, and no one bats an eye.
Being the Ones to Chase
Men are expected to pursue, but within permissible thresholds without overstepping or violating the women’s boundaries. If he doesn’t pursue her, then he is uninterested, or if he pursues her too much, then he is labeled as desperate and a loser. This is a razor-thin line, one that most men fall off despite being intensely conscious and scrupulous in their approach.
Being Judged for Physical Traits They Can’t Control
Men are judged far more harshly and pedantically for those physical attributes that are beyond their control in contrast to women. These include their height, physique, hair, and so on. All of these characteristics are scrutinized and openly discussed without any fear of reproach or offense because that’s just how things are. However, if a man were to make a casual and innocuous comment of the similar sort regarding a woman’s physical appearance, like her build, then a veritable hell of criticism would break loose upon him.
Being Decisive Always
Men are expected to be confident leaders by women. They can’t afford to appear indecisive or uncertain and must always be in control of their emotions and senses. But women can be indecisive and this flaw will be tolerated in them because that is just how modern dating operates. It calls men unattractive for being uncertain, while women are spared this criticism.
Being Blamed When Dating Fails
Men are more likely to be judged and upbraided for not having struggled hard enough or having planned better when a date doesn’t work out. But women aren’t judged or questioned if things don’t work out in a positive way.
Being Expected to Endure Criticism Quietly
Men are expected to silently endure and absorb all the criticism, mocking, and questionable comments that their date makes at their expense without showing any indignation. They have to remain tough and emotionally mature, demands that certainly don’t extend to women when a similar situation arises in connection with them.
Final Thoughts
Modern dating is imbalanced with its expectations, clearly favoring women. No matter what men do, they always end up with the short end of the stick. They are criticized, judged, and utterly humiliated if things go south on a date. No wonder so many men have completely disavowed dating and are choosing to go at life solo without any impediments or inhibitions weighing them down.
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