It is not always the big fights or dramatic betrayals that make a relationship feel distant. Sometimes, it is the small, mundane, everyday modes of communication that gradually deteriorate the trust and connection in a relationship. Even though you might not pick up on it, she certainly does. In your mind, you might be being logical, caring, and even funny, but she will be perceiving it as apathetic, cold, dismissive behavior. Read on and learn about the subtle lapses in communication that might drive her away from you inadvertently.
The “Overreacting” Label
She might express her feelings of frustration, worry, or hurt to you. You in turn might be making the mistake of dismissing them and labeling her as overreactive. You might think that you are in the right, and she might be exaggerating, but it makes you come off as apathetic and cold. She believes that you aren’t understanding her and that her emotions don’t matter at all.
One-Word Replies
Sometimes being concise isn’t as harmless as we think it to be. You might be signaling to her that you have emotionally checked out of the relationship. She will feel ignored and eventually she will have had enough of it. She might be trying too hard and will stop once she has had enough. This in turn will destroy the connection in your relationship.
Constant Interruption
You might know what she is going to say or how she’s going to finish her sentence. But cutting her off or interrupting her mid-conversation is a big no-no. It makes her feel like you are losing interest and don’t respect her. Let her finish expressing her thoughts; it will be better for your bond.
Using Sarcasm as a Shield
Humor is great for easing tension, but sarcasm certainly isn’t. It becomes much worse when you use it as a shield to avoid talking about tough and emotional issues in the relationship. It erects barriers when she is met with a sarcastic remark the moment she tries to be vulnerable or explain herself. It makes her close up and stop sharing anything with you completely.
The Phone Interruption
She’s going to feel ignored and trivialized when you constantly scroll through your phone during a discussion. Sure, you might have something important to do, but it makes you appear disinterested in her. Do yourself a favor and ditch the phone while talking to her. It reveals to her that you see her, notice her, and are giving her your full attention and presence.
Asserting You Don’t Know What She Wants from You
Don’t ever use this phrase, no matter how tough things get. It makes you appear helpless and defensive. Don’t shut her down and instead communicate with her. Ask her, frankly, to let you know that you need her help to understand her intentions. It makes things easier and smoother in your relationship.
Minimizing Her Experiences
A woman is bound to feel insulted and patronized when you minimize her experiences. Don’t use comments about forgetting something or it not being that bad when she shares something stressful with you. You might be trying to get her to see the positive side but she will perceive it as invalidating and insulting. She needs you to listen and wants your empathy, not unsolicited solutions.
To Be Right
You are not in a competition with this woman. You are invested in the relationship and want to be with her. So, don’t always approach an argument with the intention of winning it by any means necessary. It makes her feel small and insignificant till she opts to stop sharing anything with you. Emotional distance will seep into your relationship and render it lifeless.
Not Maintaining Eye Contact
When you fidget, look away, and generally find any excuse to not maintain eye contact during important discussions, it makes her feel invisible. Eye contact is necessary for conveying to your partner that you regard her with sincerity and want to nurture an emotional connection with her.
The Comparisons
Don’t ever make the mistake of comparing your partner with someone else. Sure, it might seem innocuous to bring up your friends’ girlfriends and make comparisons with them. But this has an adverse effect on her, where she thinks you are unsatisfied with her and that she isn’t enough for you.
Not Showing Up
She might invite you to watch her favorite movie with her, or go to a concert that she’s been looking forward to for a while, or go to the doctor’s appointment with her. Ensure that you show up because women notice this as an indicator of your loyalty and affection. Failing to show up can have increasingly negative outcomes for your relationship’s future.
The “Whatever” Conversation Ender
Whatever might not seem like a bad word to end a conversation with. However, it comes across as cold, apathetic, and dismissive to women. It signals to them that you are not interested in understanding the cause behind the argument and just want to bring it to an abrupt conclusion.
Not Showing Appreciation
She might cook some amazing new dish, redecorate the living room, get a new haircut, or generally change something noticeable. She is expecting you to validate her and unload praise profusely. However, when she’s met with a vacuous expression, a nonchalant shrug, and an inability to express praise, then she starts to withdraw from you. This weakens the relationship in a way loud fights never can.
Extra Sensory Perception on Her Part
Women are far more perceptive than men, but that doesn’t mean she is a mind reader. No matter what bothers you, she will never be able to pick up on it until you express it clearly. You should communicate your thoughts to her instead of growing cold with resentment when she just can’t make the connection about what’s bothering you spontaneously.
Misconstruing Emotional Conversations as Drama
She wants to be heard and have a frank, candid, and deep conversation with you about emotional issues. The worst thing you can do in this regard is label this need of hers as drama. This is the fastest way for her to withdraw from you and the relationship as a whole. It shows her that being open will only result in hitting barriers and ensuing dejection.
The Silent Treatment
Silence can start feeling like a punishment when you use it excessively in a relationship. Completely shutting off your partner and withdrawing from communication invokes insecurity and resentment in the relationship.
Final Thoughts
Quiet miscommunications and missteps in maintaining contact with your partner are what truly destroy relationships. You can make things better by being more present and aware of your situation. Be more careful and cautious, and you just might turn things around for the better.
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