You know what they say: only women and kids are loved for who they are; men have to be able to provide to be loved and appreciated. Now, many might say that this is not the case but the harsh reality is that men are indeed accorded love and affection only when they can provide and care for their family financially. An unemployed man is castigated, antagonized, and marginalized extremely, leaving behind a hollow, broken individual who can’t bear the pressure being exerted on him from the society, his family, and all those around him. Here are 15 reasons that show and corroborate that men don’t get unconditional love in this life.
Being Loved for What They Provide
Men are loved only if they provide financial security, solutions, and protection for their family from all challenges that this world has to offer. Men feel valued only when they are useful or for their ability to provide rather than for who they are and what proclivities they evince.
Being Penalized for Emotional Vulnerability
A man is surely going to be called weak, less of a man, a simp, and many other derogatory terms if he tries to express his pain, vulnerabilities, and needs. He is human but is penalized if he shows the smallest hint of weakness or shares his tiredness with anyone.
Respect Comes with Success
It is the truth that a man is only respected by his family, friends, peers, and even the society if he fulfills the criteria for success. He will be regarded with reverence and respect if he has a good job, provides for his family, and has his life together. His character and effort aren’t seen and it is only through success and results that he receives any modicum of recognition.
Being Expected to be Strong Always
Men are expected to be tough and stand tall even in the face of challenges, danger, and the risk of burning out. They strive and strive till they collapse emotionally and physically. However, the ironic thing is that he is expected to still not complain and remain steadfast and strong. Their partners won’t appreciate them and certainly won’t support them if the contrary scenario is the case.
Receiving Love Only After Proving Themselves
Men want love and tenderness in their lives. They want someone they can call their own, to start a family with, and live in sheer bliss. However, all of this is predicated upon their proving themselves in the real world and achieving sufficient success to be able to court someone he likes. They in turn will only accord him affection, care, and love if they feel like he can be a good provider, protector, and fulfill other conventional expectations that society has of him. Either he provides or he can live in isolation and solitude, unloved and unseen.
Emotional Needs are Minimized
It is a fact that men’s emotional needs are minimized. They are constantly told to be a man, be strong and tough, and get over whatever it is that is troubling them. They have to remain strong, even when they are hurting terribly on the inside.
Being Expected to Lead without Support
What really hurts is when men are expected to lead in their partnerships without any support or input. They are expected to be strong and deal with all the pressures in the relationship, emotional and physical, without receiving any empathy or reassurance. This makes it incredibly hard for them to avoid burning out or becoming emotionally drained in the process.
Being Punished for Failure
Men can’t afford to make mistakes because if they do, they stand to lose a lot more than their partners. They end up losing their partner, their kids, the house they strived so hard to build, and even their sanity. The stakes are literally too high for men to fail and that leaves them in a constant state of anxiety and trepidation, perennially trying to measure up to and fulfill the requirements and expectations that society has of them.
Being Valued for Stability
Men are loved only when they bring stability and remove vacillation and instability from their partner’s life. However, if they ever try to be or request emotional tenderness from their partners, then they find themselves being shut down, ignored, or outrightly discouraged.
Being Taught that Love is Conditional
Men have been inculcated with the lesson that love is conditional from when they were wee lads. They were taught to become worthy of earning the love of a female, instead of expecting it. They have to be successful, work on their appearance, praise the other person, and struggle constantly to become good enough for another’s love. This has further compounded the notion that men are loved only for their capacity to provide for and laud the fairer sex.
Rarely Receiving Emotional Reassurance
Men are expected to know automatically that they are loved by their partner. However, what they don’t receive are any affirmations of love from their partners or any reassurance that they are loved in turn. Men want consistency in love and caring but they don’t receive any reinforcing feedback in this regard.
Being Seen as Replaceable
Men are seen as replaceable in the modern dating culture and that is the truth. With the way things are, women of appropriate dating age have no shortage of suitors. They are constantly on the prowl, even when they are on a date with a decent guy, looking for the next upgrade. This makes men feel redundant and replaceable, making some of them utterly disillusioned with dating to the extent that they choose to give up on finding love completely.
Being Expected to Protect without Being Protected
Sounds pretty weird but that is the truth. Men are automatically expected to fulfill their role of protector without expecting any protection or reassurance in turn. They have to protect their partner and family from all challenges and hardships but expect no aid or assistance in return when it comes to them and the challenges that beset them.
Being Shamed for Wanting Affection
Men who demand or request closeness and affection are labeled as weak and less of a man in modern culture. No one expects or makes an effort to understand that this is a basic human need that these men are proclaiming.
Being Loved for Endurance
Men are loved for the endurance and perseverance that they bring to the relationship instead of their presence. They are only valued when they keep on providing and receive love in reciprocation. However, the moment they slip up or are unable to provide, then their entire presence is questioned emphatically.
Final Thoughts
Men don’t receive unconditional love and that is the truth. They love with their hearts, but they are only loved when they can support the other person financially and emotionally while also being successful in their careers, lives, and emotional regulation. It is an uphill battle for men, one that leaves them exhausted and drained.
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