Hereโs why most resolutions fail โ and how you can set goals youโll actually achieve.
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Itโs that time of the year again! Thatโs right, itโs the time when you promise yourself that this year youโll start going to the gym five days a week.
Iโm, of course, talking about the New Year and, specifically, New Yearโs resolutions.
While resolutions are as popular as ever, most people donโt follow through with them. In fact, research shows that 90% of adults abandon their resolutions after just a few months.
Despite this, many people still experience an uptick in aspirational feelings during the New Year. If youโre among this group, you might be wondering how to avoid common resolution pitfalls and make truly lasting changes.
On the other hand, maybe youโre the kind of person who just feels neutral when January 1 rolls around. I belong to this group myself; I donโt celebrate the new year or find it special in any way.
As the great philosopher Ben Gibbard once sang, โSo this is the new year / And I don’t feel any different.โ
No matter how you feel about the New Year, thereโs no denying that it provides a reason (however arbitrary) to develop new habits and let go of old ones that arenโt benefiting you. The only question is how you can actually do that.
With all of this in mind, here are five science-backed tips to set yourself up for success in the New Year.
Know Yourself
Iโm not just repeating ancient Greek wisdom in an attempt to seem smart. As clichรฉ as it sounds today, knowing yourself โ truly knowing yourself โ is integral to setting any type of goal.
The problem is that most of us think we know ourselves, but we actually donโt. 95% of people say theyโre self-aware, but only 10-15% of people are actually self-aware. Thereโs no groundbreaking reasoning behind this; the fact is that we have more blind spots than we realize (even when it comes to ourselves).
And if you donโt know yourself, youโll struggle to accurately identify what motivates you and what holds you back. Working with a therapist or counselor, having discussions with trustworthy family and friends, and practicing self-reflection can all help you get to know yourself better.
Set SMART Goals
Itโs not hard to understand why so many New Yearโs Resolutions fail โ most of them are nothing more than vague, informal promises people make to themselves.
If you want to set yourself up to achieve your goals, you need to set goals that are SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. This is a common framework used by productivity experts, and it works as a treat for New Yearโs resolutions as well.
Approaching your goals this way means that you have to think critically about desired results, motivation, and practical action steps. This way, youโll have a concrete idea of exactly where your finish line is and the steps you can take to reach it.
This strategy also helps you break down larger goals into more manageable chunks. Generally, you want to start small and gain momentum, so you have the drive to keep going until youโve achieved your goals.
Itโs also important to think about both the short term and the long term. If you only focus on one, youโll find yourself stuck sooner or later.
Understand the Science of Habit
You donโt need to become an expert in psychology to accomplish your goals, but itโs helpful to know a few basics about how the human brain works.
One key concept to know is that habits are formed by intentional routines. If you want to make something a habit, you first need to consciously and deliberately do that thing over and over. The more you perform a routine, the sooner it will become a habit.
Itโs also useful to understand how the brain seeks reward. This is why itโs so tough to adopt behaviors that donโt result in at least some form of immediate satisfaction, and itโs also why itโs so helpful to break down bigger goals.
Create Real Accountability for Yourself
Itโs extremely difficult to make any lasting changes if you donโt have anyone to hold you accountable. Most humans naturally seek the path of least resistance, so we need some sort of external force to spur us forward.
No matter what kind of changes you want to make, getting an accountability partner will help tremendously. You need someone to be a loving critic who will help you see where youโre succeeding and where youโre falling short (and how you can improve).
Your accountability partner will also help remind you why youโre trying to make these changes in the first place so that you donโt lose sight of the bigger picture.
Ask Why (And Why Not)
Constantly asking questions is one of the best life pro tips I have. Itโs also a great strategy for setting goals because it allows you to stay focused on whatโs motivating you.
Making or breaking habits means repeatedly taking action, but most of us will falter, and thatโs normal. Whatโs more important is to address those feelings of resistance by asking why you want to accomplish the bigger goal โ and why you donโt want to take steps toward accomplishing it.
Letโs say youโve made it a goal to spend an hour a day looking for a new job, and youโve blocked out the 7:00 hour for that purpose. But when 7:00 comes, you find yourself thoroughly unmotivated. This creates two important questions: Why are you looking for this job, and why donโt you want to spend the time looking?
Asking these questions will help you address the root causes of your resistance. This doesnโt mean you canโt ever stray from your schedule โ itโs normal to have ups and downs โ but it can help you understand why youโre feeling stuck or demotivated.
Is Success Even the Point?
Setting SMART goals is a great way to begin or continue your journey of self-improvement, but at the same time, itโs important to understand that you wonโt fail if you donโt perfectly meet your goals.
This might seem trite, but understanding that success is a continual journey of improvement rather than an end goal is critical. Success can always be redefined, so itโs hard to ever feel successful. True success is making the same deliberate choices to improve your life every day and getting back up each time you fall down.
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