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17 Ways to Write an Online Dating Profile That Actually Works

Updated on October 22, 2025 by TMM Staff · Dating & Confidence

A person using a smartphone.
©Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦/unsplash.com

Ok, this might be a tough pill for some of you to swallow, but we have to say it. The writing is right there on the wall, and it clearly says that this is the age of digital dating. Now, this doesn’t mean that traditional modes of dating weren’t effective. In fact, we might even be among some of the guys rooting for the whole love letter and face to face confessions where two people get all lovey dovey with each other. But now in this digital age nobody has got the time to delve into the intricacies that made conventional dating so awesome and appealing. Couples nowadays are looking for the chief defining factor: convenience. You can also bet your hat that convenience and efficacy are the name of the game when it comes to online dating. The odds of succeeding on the online dating arena might seem slim to some, but that is because you don’t know how to set up that tricky online dating profile. The right dating profile will guarantee you unprecedented returns on any dating platform. Read on and learn to do that right here.

Table of Contents

Toggle
  • You are Not Writing a Resume
  • No One Wants to Know Your Traits
  • Add Something Unexpected
  • Gain that Balance Between Warmth and Confidence
  • Showing Instead of Telling
  • You Have to Mention What You Actually Want
  • Remember to keep it Natural
  • Be Funny, but Don’t Overdo It
  • Avoid the Cringey Phrases
  • Try Being a Little Mysterious
  • Use Meaningful Photos
  • Stop Using Tired Phrases
  • Use Something People Can Respond To
  • Keep Updating Your Profile
  • Be Cautiously Honest
  • Add Some Emotion
  • Conclude with an Invitation
  • Final Thoughts

You are Not Writing a Resume

A man writing in a journal with a laptop placed near it.
©Juno Jo/unsplash.com

Ok, how shall we put this, you aren’t applying for a job or seeking employment. You are looking to go out, have fun, and potentially connect with someone who just gets you. So, stop with the tired, plain, and generally tired tropes like “this is my backstory” and “My Hobbies are….”. That is boring and certainly won’t be grabbing anyone’s attention. Go for something unique and novel that will get that mouth curved and the click happening on your profile.

No One Wants to Know Your Traits

A man and woman talking in a cafe.
©The Start/unsplash.com

Bullet points are the death of interest and will serve to repel the ladies faster than you can say “I am so spontaneous”. You aren’t going to be making any scores by listing your traits. Try depicting small moments that ooze spontaneity and make you stand out. You can try writing about how you traveled 200 miles just to watch a concert. This shows you are hip, cool, and totally willing to get in the spirit of things.

Add Something Unexpected

A man working on a laptop and thinking about something.
©Christian Velitchkov/unsplash.com

You know what really catches someone’s eye on these dating apps? It is when they see something extraordinary that makes them laugh out loud. It can be something about your profession and something totally unrelated to it. Like you can say “A teacher who loves collecting vintage lunchboxes”.

Gain that Balance Between Warmth and Confidence

A lightly bearded man lost in thought.
©@invadingkingdom/unsplash.com

You need to understand the difference between arrogance and confidence before you can do this. You don’t have to boast and show off and your dating profile should reflect this sentiment. Show that you are confident enough to take them on an awesome date but don’t oversell yourself. That just comes off as plain tacky and unlikable.

Showing Instead of Telling

A man using his laptop in his living room.
©Max Shilov/unsplash.com

People certainly love a narrative over a plain fact. You don’t have to mention that you are “kind” on these apps. Instead, elucidate this attribute by writing a story or anecdote that reflects your kindness. Potential partners tend to connect more with stories.

You Have to Mention What You Actually Want

A man typing on a keyboard.
©Stefan Heinemann/unsplash.com

Listen, this will go nowhere if you keep beating around the bush and don’t mention what you are looking for clearly. Don’t use vague cliches like “Oh, I am looking for something genuine”. What is that? What does that mean? It makes you look unapproachable and downright weird. Just plainly and clearly mention what you are looking for in a partner. It can be genuineness, a sustainable relationship, and an emotional connection that lasts.

Remember to keep it Natural

An attractive man smiling.
©Paolo Restighini/unsplash.com

You are hoping to land a date on a dating app, not a potential employer on LinkedIn. Your profile should reflect that. Try staying natural and ditching the pretense for a while. People tend to connect more with a profile that exudes authenticity and humanity. If you write your profile like you are talking with a friend over dinner or coffee then you are moving in the right direction.

Be Funny, but Don’t Overdo It

A couple laughing together.
©Sammyayot254/unsplash.com

People love funny guys, but only to a degree. Once you cross that threshold with cringey one liners and wry, witty jokes, then sorry to tell you but you have wrecked any chances at dating. Forced jokes, excessive sarcasm, and being unnecessarily funny can sabotage your dating efforts pretty fast.

Avoid the Cringey Phrases

A woman looking at a man with an awkward expression on her face.
©Blake Cheek/unsplash.com

Please, oh please skip using cringey phrases like “#No Drama”, “Playas Not Allowed” and the ever repugnant “don’t message me unless….”. This certainly is not the way as these phrases just ooze bitterness and ruin the vibes for your profile.

Try Being a Little Mysterious

A man looking to the side while shrouded in shadow against a red background.
©Getty Images/unsplash.com

The ladies love an enigmatic man so try adding a dash of mystery to your dating profile. Leave something hidden in your profile which just might compel them to come looking. You can tell them to ask you a question about how you got into a certain situation and leave it at that. The hook’s strong with this one and will definitely reel in some interested parties who want answers and closure.

Use Meaningful Photos

Two men trekking through the wild.
©Mohamed hamdi/unsplash.com

Don’t crowd your profile with weird, uninspiring, and uninteresting pictures. Selfies are an absolute no no. Instead put meaningful ones like travel pics, hobby pics, candid shots, and so forth on your profile. This eclectic mix is far more appealing than an awkward selfie can ever be.

Stop Using Tired Phrases

A woman looking at her laptop with an exasperated expression and gesturing with her hand.
©Getty Images/unsplash.com

Some phrases have been used to death and have lost all novelty, if they ever had any. So, avoid using the ever repellent ones like “down to earth”, “partner in crime”, “Love to laugh” and many others of the sort.

Use Something People Can Respond To

A bespectacled man thinking.
©Getty Images/unsplash.com

You know people are going to be far more engaging towards your dating profile if you include something that they can respond to. Use something like your favorite kind of food, music, or travelling site, and conclude by asking about their opinion. This is a hook that mostly works and people do respond well to it.

Keep Updating Your Profile

A man wearing a cap and baseball jersey using his mobile while seated at a table.
©Declan Sun/unsplash.com

You keep updating everything else in your life, so why should your dating profile be treated any differently? Keep regularly updating it with interesting happenings and moments in your life. Add some new anecdotes, and new energy every chance to get. It will definitely show that you are active and raring to go dominate the dating scene.

Be Cautiously Honest

A person looking towards the horizon while standing by the seaside.
©GRAY/unsplash.com

When we say cautious, we mean restrained. Ok, everyone likes the truth now and then, but that doesn’t mean you have to unload every small detail about your life. Tell your story, reel people in with restrained honesty, but don’t overshare. At least, not until you get a partner and get serious with them, but after that, go nuts with the truth.

Add Some Emotion

A smiling man with a picturesque view in the background.
©JUSTIN BUISSON/unsplash.com

You have to put in something poignant, something moving, that lets people feel something. How about mentioning that you miss the taste of your Mom’s pancakes on Sunday mornings? Sounds fantastic, nostalgic, and relatable all packed into one awesome sentence.

Conclude with an Invitation

A smiling man using the “call me” gesture.
©Iwaria Inc./unsplash.com

Conclude your profile with a catchy and engaging invitation. You can do it like “If you like pineapple on pizza, then we will certainly get along. If not, we’ll discuss it over coffee.”

Final Thoughts

©Getty Images/unsplash.com

A dating profile is a reflection of yourself. It is the way you want to appear to potential partners on the dating apps that you frequent. So, you should strive to make this the best dating profile that you can because you are going to need it if you want to attract some amazing partners to your side.

Dating & Confidence

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About TMM Staff

The Modest Man staff writers are experts in men's lifestyle who love teaching guys how to live their best lives.

If an article is published under TMM Staff, that means multiple writers worked on it. For example, sometimes several of us have experience with a certain brand, so we collaborate to publish a more thorough review.

Or, if an article was originally written by one person, but then it was updated by someone else, we'll re-publish it under TMM Staff.

Remember: all of our articles (including those below) are written by real people with decades of combined experience in men's fashion and lifestyle topics.

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