It isn’t that big of a stretch to say that modern first dates are more like a chore than a pursuit of pleasure. Heck, sometimes it feels like you are getting ready to face a job interview panel. The pressure is palpable and boy does it frizzle the nerves. What is left on a date when you remove the candles and the lights? It is anxiety and consternation at facing a confounding situation. You are expected to please this person sitting across the table and hope she enjoys your company and has a great time. Nothing special right? It’s just a small meetup, right? Well, if you plan things properly then yeah, it is a walk in the park. But underprepare and you are in for an embarrassing time that will leave you red in the ears. There are some steps that you can follow to avoid such unwanted complications and you can learn all about them right here.
Be Yourself
This means that you arrive at the date as yourself, not the version that you jotted on your dating profile. Not once in the history of dating has a person gotten interested in someone over the qualities they saw on their dating profile. You gotta be natural and ditch the artificial air and then reap the benefits.
Dress Confidently
You aren’t chasing perfection here, pal, so dress nicely but don’t overdo it. You aren’t dressing to kill or impress anyone so just dial the perfection factor down a notch. You should instead choose an outfit that you find comfortable. There is a certain confidence about dressing how you want, and your date is surely going to pick up on that.
Break the Ice with a Funny Line
You are on a date so skip the conventional greetings please. Don’t repeat the broken record where you ask what they do. Instead go for a more natural and engaging question like what their idea of a perfect weekend is. Break the ice smartly, buddy, and don’t be predictable please.
Your Date’s Pace Should Match Your Vibe
A perfect date isn’t one where you take your date to an expensive restaurant, roll out the expensive steaks and wine, and serenade them with music. Nah, a perfect date is one that harmonizes with your vibe, completes your personality. You should choose the dating site depending on what your internal vibe is telling you. It can be a rooftop restaurant, a coffee shop, a bakery, a pizza place, or whatever. Go for the option that matches your vibe and stick to it confidently.
Get Curious About Your Date
Notice how it says to be curious and not bombard her with questions. Ask questions, but please be thoughtful. You are not a detective and that is not a suspect sitting across from you. Ask them lightly about what they like and expect in life. You can bet that this curiosity will take you to a level of emotional connection that tired compliments simply won’t.
Don’t Overshare
Oversharing, right out of the box, is a recipe for disaster for your first date. And why should you overshare? She isn’t a close friend or your therapist bud, so go light on the information unloading. A little bit of information, some snippets here and there, and a personal anecdote are more than enough for your first date.
Find Shared Ground in Humor
You know what breaks the ice rapidly and better than anything else? If you thought it was a good, shared laugh, then you are absolutely correct. You should really try getting her to laugh early on in the date to make the rest of the night smooth and fun. You can do that with a funny joke, a humorous story, or even some self-deprecating humor, you know, like Conan O’Brien, to break the ice early.
Ditch the Smartphone
Dude, we get it, this is the digital era and you can’t bear to look away from your little PC for a minute. But that would certainly send the wrong message to her. She might think you aren’t paying attention or she’s not worthy of your focus. So, ditch the smartphone for a couple of hours please.
Compliment Her Genuinely
Yeah, the girl’s cute and appeals to your sense of aesthetics. But if you are looking to get a deeper connection with her, then you really should look beyond surface beauty. Compliment her authentically and go for her awesome traits. Like, compliment her on her vibes, opinions, or dreams. This will leave a far stronger and positive impact on her than the usual compliment about her “hotness” can.
Go for Balance in the Conversation
It’s a date, so talk like you are on one. Don’t let the conversation be lopsided in either side’s favor. Go for striking the sweet balance in the conversation. Listen as much as you speak, and follow up with some witty and funny comebacks.
Don’t Create a Script
You are not acting in a movie, so skip the whole scripting out the date in your head bit. It seriously hampers your creativity, spontaneity. It will also demolish any hopes of achieving any chemistry. Also, women can tell when you are acting on a script and not enjoying or living in the moment.
Talk About Your Interests
Career talk is great and all but you gotta admit, it turns stale pretty fast. So, sprinkle in some mentions of shared interests to spruce up the conversation. You don’t want to doze off in the middle of the date so let your personality speak for you for a change.
Read and Match the Current Vibe
What is great about the first date is that the vibes can change almost instantly. One moment it is all smiles and pleasantries. But this vibe suddenly shifts to take on a more flirty energy. So, please try to stay on top of these subtle shifts and make an effort to match them. A great first date demands that you match your date’s flow, not some obscure patterns.
Don’t Overload on the Coffee, Or Alcohol
Hey, no one’s stopping you from downing one or two servings of your preferred beverage. But please don’t go overboard. This isn’t liquid courage, but more like a blurring tonic. It robs you of your concentration, and your chances at connection. You have to stay at the top of your game and that isn’t possible when you overload on drinks.
End the Date on a High Note
End the date quietly and confidently with a simple Thanks and voice your desire to repeat it. Sure, there are no grand gestures, no fireworks, or sparks to mark the conclusion of your date. But the chances of a second date are surely going to rise in your favor.
Don’t Overanalyze
You made it through the date and that is all that counts. Don’t clog your thoughts with the gunk of overthinking or obsessing over the night’s highlights. Wait and let it all fold out. If it is meant to be, then it will be.
Know the Difference Between Date and Destiny, and please keep them separate. You went on a date and had fun. That is it, there is nothing more to it and it would be better if you didn’t associate anything to it either. The chances of you succeeding are just as prevalent as the chances of it ending belly up. So, keep your expectations low and don’t equate it to something destined or karmic. You are only opening yourself up to potential heartbreak by doing this.
Final Thoughts
It isn’t perfect timing or planning that makes a first date successful, but rather your energy, compatibility, and good natured laughter. You can only swing for the fences and hope that all works out splendidly. But in any case, remember to have fun and have a terrific time.
Ask Me Anything