There are some relationships that don’t feel like love at all because they aren’t slow, focused, or intentional. Rather, they are rushed and feel intensely and emotionally charged. They are replete with uncertainty, excitement, and emotional highs and lows, making them feel addictive and downright intoxicating to the ones who are in them. They make one feel amazing and that superb feeling overshadows the connection that forms between the partners within it. At times, without realizing it, you end up being drawn to the emotional rollercoaster that runs rampant within these relationships instead of creating something real with your partner. Read on and learn about the signs that show up when you get addicted to the highs of a relationship instead of the person right here.
You Crave the Chase More Than the Connection
The beginning of these relationships thrills you immensely. There is flirting, excitement, and even uncertainty about whether the other person will reciprocate or not. But your interest starts fading away the moment things start to settle down and get linear within the relationship.
Stability Feels Boring
You start feeling restless when things get calm and predictable in your relationship. Consistency, salubriousness, and tranquility are the killers of excitement for you, and it doesn’t take long for you to start feeling bored. This shows that you are the kind of person who confuses peace with a lack of passion in your relationship.
You Feel Most Alive After Conflict
Your feelings seem to intensify and experience an exciting upheaval when you get into arguments, break up with your partner, or create emotional distance with them. So, when you do finally reconnect with them after all that stress and tension, it feels incredibly rewarding for you.
You Romanticize the Highs and Ignore the Lows
You are the kind of person who idealizes and embellishes the best moments of your life and keeps on replaying them in your mind. However, you completely minimize the confusion, hurt, inconsistencies, and other issues that your relationship is replete with in the process.
You are Drawn to Unavailable People
It is a huge indicator that you are only concerned with emotional highs when you find yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable, unpredictable, and distant partners. They are the ones who keep you hooked with their capriciousness; the utter nebulousness about what they will do next is something that you find deeply intoxicating.
You Confuse Intensity with Love
You should realize that just because you find something deeply potent and powerful doesn’t automatically mean that it is healthy as well. However, you only take intensity at face value and regard it as the proof you need to get into a relationship with someone, showing that you are the type of person who mistakes passion for connection.
You Get Hooked on Mixed Signals
You are attracted to those people who send mixed signals and leave you feeling confused. Other people might find hot-and-cold behavior off-putting and repulsive, but you are drawn in deeper towards the ones who have a high propensity to indulge in said behavior.
You Feel Withdrawal When Things are Quiet
You get anxious, feel insecure, and experience utter uncertainty when your relationship becomes calm and quiet. You are the one who thrives when things get clamorous, the texts start coming, and the drama explodes within your relationship; without these emotional spikes, you stop feeling secure and comfortable.
You Stay for the “Good Moments”
There are rare moments when things feel immensely amazing and everything seems to click into place between you and your partner. However, these moments are rare and sporadic, but somehow, you end up convincing yourself that they make everything worth it and outweigh everything else in the relationship, even the adverse ones.
You Mistake Anxiety for Excitement
You can feel your heart racing and your mind overthinking things and grappling with the emotional swings that have become normal within your relationship, all the time conflating them with passion. You don’t even bother to contemplate and realize that these are nothing more than stress responses.
You Keep Repeating the Same Pattern
No matter who you end up with, the same story unfolds between you and them. You get into the relationship, keep pursuing the emotional highs and lows, and make things chaotic and unpredictable till things eventually fall apart. You end up in the same situation, one where you are emotionally exhausted and drained from having repeated the same patterns that you did in your previous relationships.
You Ignore Red Flags If the Chemistry is Strong
You have a serious problem if you casually ignore the glaring warning signs in a partner, even if you feel like the chemistry is strong between you both. You are the kind of person who gives precedence to intensity and passion over safety and respect within your relationship.
You Feel “Hooked” Rather Than Grounded
Healthy love is of the kind that makes your life feel steady and stable. However, you aren’t the kind of person who goes for these feelings and is more interested in those kinds of connections that leave you feeling hooked yet not moored, excited yet not grounded.
You Fear Losing the Feeling More Than Losing the Person
If you truly choose to be honest with yourself, then you will realize that you aren’t actually afraid of losing your partner; you are afraid of losing the emotional experience that they afford you. You are in love with the excitement, unpredictability, and intensity that they bring to your life, not them as a person.
You Struggle to Define What You Actually Like About Them
Sure, you are drawn to a person simply because of the way they make you feel. But beyond that, you don’t actually have any idea about what it is that you like about them. You have no interest in their qualities, the finer details of their lives, their personalities, and so on. You find it pretty hard to pinpoint exactly what it is that you sincerely like about them beyond their ability to make your life exciting and intense.
Final Thoughts
There is a huge difference between being in love and being emotionally addicted to someone. Love builds at a gradual pace and makes one feel safe with its consistent and grounding nature. On the other hand, addiction feels rushed, capricious, and draining. Love tends to grow on you while addiction keeps you focused on chasing someone constantly.
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