It might look incredibly illogical and downright irrational when a man uninhibitedly pours all of his efforts, energy, time, finances, and emotions into a relationship with a partner who barely responds in kind to him. The unfortunate truth is that this happens more often than what might be considered normal in these present times. Such men are called desparate, whipped, or weak by their friends and others in society blatantly and unrepentantly. However, the truth is far more intricate and human than they might understand or anticipate. Read on and learn about the reasons why men keep on giving in a relationship, even when they are guaranteed nothing in return right here.
The Confuse Effort with Love
Many men have been raised to believe that love is reflected and proven through their intentional and diligent efforts and action. They believe that the more they give in a relationship, the more they will be able to corroborate their love with their partner, showing that they are doing things right in their relationship.
They Think Consistency will Win Her Over
There are many men who mistakenly believe that they will be able to win over their partner by being persistent in their relationship. They keep showing up, hoping against hope that some day she will eventually see them and will acknowledge their value and presence.
They Fear Starting Over
There are some men who don’t walk away from their relationship even when the love is gone because they fear having to start all over again. They don’t have the energy or determination to re-enter dating, and that is why they choose to stay even in a relationship that is bereft of emotion rather than risk loneliness again.
Low Self-Worth Keeps Them Hooked
Some men choose to remain in emotionally hollow relationships simply because they believe that they don’t deserve any better. It is a deeply embedded notion that they irrevocably subscribe to, one that moves them to tolerate less than they actually should in their relationships.
They Get Attached to Potential
These men aren’t in love with the partner that they currently have; rather, they are in it with her simply for the promise of who she can become eventually. That imagined potential is what keeps them around, silently tolerating emotional emptiness and lack of reciprocation from her side.
They Have Been Conditioned to “Earn” Love
There are many men who have been taught since childhood and through past relationships that they need to become worthy enough to be loved by someone else. That is what drives them to increasingly sacrifice, compromise, and relent in their relationship simply because they believe this will lead to them earning their partner’s love and affection eventually.
They See Walking Away as Failure
For many of these men, walking away or abandoning their relationships and partners isn’t an option. It feels akin to losing to them, so they persist and stay, even when doing so clearly hurts them emotionally and physically.
They Ignore Red Flags on Purpose
These men aren’t incapable of seeing the warning signs that plague their relationships. They just choose to ignore them or downplay their perniciousness. They do so because they secretly hope that things will work out for the better and that their partner will change eventually. Most of the time, things don’t work out the way they deeply hope they will, though.
They Crave Validation from One Person
These men seem utterly devoted to their partner because it is only her approval that they are fixated on. These men go to extreme lengths just so they can secure their partner’s approval and validation. When it comes rarely, they double down on their efforts and increase them manyfold till she eventually deigns to send some their way.
They Romanticize Loyalty
These men pride themselves on being loyal to their partners and fastidiously choosing to stay by their side no matter what happens or how difficult it gets. Loyalty becomes a defining part of their identity, even when it is misplaced and undeserved.
They Mistake Emotional Highs for Love
For these men, the occasional and sporadic attention given to them by their partners feels incredibly intense and virtually addictive. It might seem unbelievable, but these men are hooked to this inconsistency. It is what keeps them invested and engrossed in their relationships, even when it becomes devoid of emotional connection and affection.
They Don’t Want to Admit They Were Wrong
These men invest a lot of emotional and mental energy into their relationships, effectively making the prospect of walking away that much harder. For them, leaving would mean confessing that they gave too much of themselves and their energy to the wrong person and they don’t want to be proven wrong in this regard.
They Believe She is “Different Deep Down”
These men choose to stay because they deeply subscribe to the misconception that their partners are merely misunderstood, that they are stellar and scrupulous individuals deep down. This is something that they ardently keep believing in, even when their partner’s actions reflect that they are uninterested in the relationship and don’t value them or their efforts.
They Lack Strong Boundaries
These men allow themselves to be exploited and end up giving endlessly to their partners and relationships without expecting anything in return. They do this because they lack palpable physical or emotional boundaries, a vulnerability that their partners impudently abuse.
They are Hoping to be Chosen
At the heart of it all lies a simple desire: to be chosen and wanted by their partner. These men believe that they will achieve this eventually by giving again and again and unconditionally within their relationships.
Final Thoughts
These men aren’t always naive; rather, they are usually sanguine and optimistic. They are working on the beliefs that have been ingrained in them from their upbringing, the experiences of their past, social conditioning, and emotional needs. That is what makes them deeply engaged and prone to keep giving in their relationships, even when the latter and their partners don’t deserve it.
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