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16 Ways to Flirt With a Woman the Right Way and Actually Get Her Number

Updated on December 30, 2025 by TMM Staff · Dating & Confidence

A man and a woman holding hands on a bridge.
©Alexander Mass/Unsplash.com

Contrary to what many people think, flirting isn’t all about cheesy pickup lines or scenarios that have been rehearsed repeatedly. Confidence makes a huge difference, but trite and tired approaches don’t actually cut it anymore. Now, the main things that women expect from men while flirting are genuineness, making her feel comfortable, and openness. They want to be impressed rather than feel pressured while being courted. There is a right way to flirt and ensure that you get her number at the end of such a conversation. Read on and learn about these respectful ways of flirting that work effectively.

Table of Contents

Toggle
  • Eye Contact First
  • Approach Her Calmly and Confidently
  • A Simple Honest Line
  • Make a Genuine Compliment
  • Keep Your Body Language Open
  • Listen Intently
  • Match Her Energy
  • Use Light Humor
  • Don’t Overstay
  • Be Direct But Don’t Push
  • Avoid Sexual Comments
  • Show That You are Comfortable with Yourself
  • Respect Her Signals
  • Create a Small Shared Moment
  • Request Her Number Casually
  • Accept the Outcome
  • Final Thoughts

Eye Contact First

A young, attractive, happy couple on a romantic date by the river.
©Getty Images/Unsplash.com

Start off with making brief, yet warm, eye contact with her. It should be relaxed and must emanate interest without any intrusive intent. It gives a woman the time and space she needs to either respond to you or not.

Approach Her Calmly and Confidently

A man and a woman kissing in the rain under an umbrella.
©Joel Overbeck/Unsplash.com

Confidence is key here. It goes without saying that women notice it immediately. You should make a point of walking up to her with quiet confidence, meaning that you should not fidget or appear nervous. Your energy should be calm and grounded and make her feel comfortable and drawn in towards you.

A Simple Honest Line

A man and woman hugging in front of a waterfall.
©Arfan Adytiya/Unsplash.com

Open up the conversation with a small, simple, and honest line, like saying hello and stating your intent to come over and say hello. You would be surprised as to how effective this seemingly simple approach is compared to the scripted and clever lines that people usually go for while attempting to flirt.

Make a Genuine Compliment

A man and a woman facing each other while holding flowers.
©Alvin Mahmudov/Unsplash.com

You should focus on complimenting her on something thoughtful that goes beyond physical aspects. You can try complimenting her laugh, her style, and her very presence. Don’t immediately laud her body. This shows that you are being respectful and have tremendous awareness on your part.

Keep Your Body Language Open

A man and a woman hugging in a field.
©Mihail Tregubov/Unsplash.com

You should never assume a closed body position. Focus on keeping your arms uncrossed and your posture relaxed. Face her directly and comfortably, as it signals sincerity and an intent to court her respectfully.

Listen Intently

A woman sitting in a chair talking to a man.
©Vinicius “amnx” Amano/Unsplash.com

Try to listen to her intently and closely. As a matter of fact, try to listen more than you talk. Real flirting evinces sincerity and curiosity. You should ask questions and let her answer. It will show her that you are actually interested in learning more about her and not just there for her physical appearance.

Match Her Energy

A couple smiling together against a dark background.
©Vitaly Gariev/Unsplash.com

Try to mirror her energy completely. Be playful and teasing if she’s displaying these tendencies. However, if she is calm, quiet, or serious, then try to imitate that vibe on your part as well. This is crucial for building rapport with her, which will eventually take you somewhere concrete and palpable with her.

Use Light Humor

A man standing next to a woman near a tree.
©Andres Mora/Unsplash.com

Humor and jokes are a great icebreaker, but only if practiced moderately and sparingly. Use gentle, light, and respectful humor to get her attention. However, refrain from going overboard or engaging in humor that disparages her or mocks her. That will serve to kill all your attempts at achieving a rapport with her in the cradle.

Don’t Overstay

A man looking at a woman's hand and looking towards her while they are standing in a park.
©Ben White/Unsplash.com

Remember to not overstay the moment. End the interaction on a high note and leave her feeling pleasantly surprised and intrigued. This is far more potent than barreling on till things start going stale.

Be Direct But Don’t Push

A man standing next to a woman holding a microphone.
©Mahmoud Gad/Unsplash.com

It pays to be clear and state your interest in a woman openly. It is attractive, and women tend to like it. However, what they don’t like is feeling pressured. Go for a confident approach, as it forms the middle way between outright temerariousness and bashfulness.

Avoid Sexual Comments

A man and a woman walking through a beach during daytime.
©Allen Taylor/Unsplash.com

You should never ever make sexual comments early on in your flirting attempts. It ruins the vibe and immediately repels women from you. Women find such men deplorable and don’t reciprocate positively at all. This is perhaps the fastest way to kill attraction while flirting so make sure you avoid it above all. Let chemistry and connection fill in organically, and don’t push for it through overtly lascivious remarks.

Show That You are Comfortable with Yourself

A man and a woman standing in the woods.
©Gruescu Ovidiu/Unsplash.com

Try to project an air of self-assurance to the woman you are seeking to court. You shouldn’t be aiming for perfection or trying too hard to impress her. Just remain calm and show her that you are comfortable with yourself. This is far more attractive than trying too hard to win her over, as that can land you in hot water faster than you might think.

Respect Her Signals

A couple in a coffee shop having breakfast, Danish pastries, and coffee.
©Getty Images/Unsplash.com

Remember that you aren’t aiming for success by any means necessary here. Notice her signals and if she seems uninterested or distracted, then withdraw immediately. A graceful exit is far more attractive than obstinately adhering to the endeavor of courting her, even when she is clearly projecting her disinterest.

Create a Small Shared Moment

A young smiling couple using their phones while they are standing in a street.
©Getty Images/Unsplash.com

It can be something easy like a quick, genuine laugh or an observation you both make mutually. It can even be a shared opinion about something. This creates a lasting connection between you both that is bound to translate well into future interactions.

Request Her Number Casually

A man using his phone while they are sitting on a table near a body of water.
©Natalia Blauth/Unsplash.com

If you feel like things have progressed well up till now, you can respectfully ask for her number. A good start for this request would be to let her know that you had a great time talking to her and whether she would like to do it again sometime. This is simple, retains considerable respect, and lets her know that you value her enough to pursue whatever you experienced with her further.

Accept the Outcome

A man and a woman sitting at a table.
©Andrej Lišakov/Unsplash.com

No matter what happens, remember to accept it with grace and understanding. If she responds well to your attempts, then well and good, go for it. But if she says no, then respond with kindness and handle it maturely. It says a lot about a person, the way they handle rejection after all.

Final Thoughts

A man and a woman holding each other and laughing.
©A. C./Unsplash.com

Flirting isn’t about chasing perfection or going for the tired phrases that have been done to death already. It is about exuding an aura of sincerity, about getting to know the other person closely and deeply. It is making a woman believe that she is the only one in the room for you and that you value and respect her sufficiently to want a potentially romantic interaction with her.

Dating & Confidence

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About TMM Staff

The Modest Man staff writers are experts in men's lifestyle who love teaching guys how to live their best lives.

If an article is published under TMM Staff, that means multiple writers worked on it. For example, sometimes several of us have experience with a certain brand, so we collaborate to publish a more thorough review.

Or, if an article was originally written by one person, but then it was updated by someone else, we'll re-publish it under TMM Staff.

Remember: all of our articles (including those below) are written by real people with decades of combined experience in men's fashion and lifestyle topics.

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