Love wasn’t a contest, but it certainly has turned into one in these times. No one has been affected more deeply by the capriciousness and utter contrivances that modern love evinces than men. They have even begun to quietly repudiate and move away from it because of this unpredictability and chaotic nature that modern love embodies. For many years, men were sold the notion that they had to be worthy and prove themselves lovable to get a girl. They had to toil, get a job, get settled, get physically fit, and become confident enough before they could be deemed worthy of love. However, today’s world has changed and makes constant, insane demands that have left men weary and unwilling to put up with his charade anymore. Men aren’t appreciated for who they are, rather than what they have to offer, and that is as perturbing as it is infuriating. They haven’t disavowed love or given up on it; they have just grown weary of constantly having to audition for it.
Finding Love, Or Interviewing for A Job
Men have begun to abhor the fact that today’s dates feel more like a job interview than a search for love or bonding. His salary, career, looks, body, and everything else are assessed before a connection can be made. Men want to attain a connection, not tick off boxes on a checklist.
Efforts Aren’t Appreciated
Men can be as thoughtful or considerate as humanly possible, and yet they won’t be valued. They show sincerity and expect it in return, but receive nothing of the sort. Men have begun to step back from modern love and dating because their efforts hold no meaning and receive no praise anymore.
Chivalry is Dead
Women keep lamenting that they need a real man to walk into their lives, until one does. He can be the perfect, chivalrous gentleman, opening doors, pulling out the chair, and listening intently, and then he gets instantly labeled as too serious. This is jarring, confusing, and seriously off-putting. No wonder men have stopped believing in or practicing the tenets of chivalry.
Competing with a Highlight Reel
Social media has made people gullible and susceptible to gobbling up the slop that they are fed online. Comparisons are made with pretentious influencers and so-called models online that have nothing else to do than prance and preen about with their new clothes, chiseled bodies, and so on. That is the insanity that the modern man has to contend with and compete with. Women are always impressed by these unrealistic social media standards, and men have just given up on trying to attain them.
Tired of Trying to Prove Their Worth
Men have had enough of struggling to prove their worth. They have worked on themselves for a while now, and even then, their “dateability” is questioned. Their stability, ambitions, and overall character are assessed meticulously, usually to no avail.
One-Sided Compliments
Women tend to love it when the guy dishes out the praise. He can call her pretty, hot, sexy, and so on, and they will still demand more. But the same can’t be said for the men who receive little to no appreciation. Their presentability, opinions, and contributions are met with a deadpansilence. This has drained men’s ambitions for dating and put them off from the whole modern dating scene for good.
Modern Dating Doesn’t Value Honesty
Men have learned that manipulation, games, and being outright disingenuous are what get the women swooning. An honest man, who wears his heart on his sleeve and tries to court a woman with sincerity and genuine intent, is ignored and pushed to the side. It is the pretty boys, all flair and no substance, that are in demand, so why bother dating at all?
Competing in a Digital Arena
Men today don’t have to worry about rivals, because there are none. Women today are obsessed with social media attention, and every notification serves to fuel their egos. No one’s got the time or ability to compete with such a huge and capricious an enemy.
Vulnerabilities are Exploited
Men have had enough of exposing their vulnerabilities and laying their hearts bare to potential partners. That is because their vulnerabilities are belittled, dismissed, and ignored outright. In some cases, they are exploited to gain some twisted benefit. That is why men are stepping back and not choosing to engage in the desolation that is modern dating.
Expectations are Misaligned
Men are expected to provide emotionally, mentally, and financially in a relationship. They start feeling like a beast of burden, tasked with carrying the weight of keeping the relationship intact all by their lonesome. This misalignment is sure to culminate in the entire relationship collapsing.
Genuineness is Met with Rejection
Men aren’t showing their real, genuine selves anymore because it seriously hurts when the other person refuses it. Nothing hurts more when a man shows his true, unadulterated self to someone and they trample on his emotions and heart.
Casual Culture Feels Hollow
Men today don’t have anything against fun or happiness. It is just that the impermanent and fleeting connections that are prevalent in modern dating have left them feeling empty. Men want genuine connection, not fleeting distractions or temporary flings.
Efforts Get Confused with Desperation
The more effort or commitment a man shows towards a relationship, the more the odds increase of him being labeled a desperate loser. He is just trying to be genuine and show that he cares, and instead he gets labeled as clingy or a creep. This eventually teaches them to detach and stop vying for affection in this mess that is modern dating.
Loyalty isn’t Worth Anything
Modern women aren’t the kind to value or appreciate loyalty. They are always on the lookout for the next best thing and treat fidelity like something disposable. You can put in as much effort or sincerity in a relationship, and she’s just going to move on without notice. This makes the modern man question the value or effectiveness of loyalty.
No Emotional Safety
Men want to love without any barriers and engage in it openly. They don’t want to be labeled clingy or overly sensitive. They are searching for true love and connection, and the modern dating scene just isn’t forthcoming or facilitating in this regard. The best path left to men is to abandon all efforts altogether and retreat back into emotional detachment and aloofness.
Final Thoughts
Men today aren’t against love; they are just simply fed up with having to compete for it. They don’t want to wear themselves out while chasing a hopeless and despondent pursuit of love. The modern dating scene and women need to understand that something needs to change. Otherwise, men are going to quit engaging in love, chivalry, and romance altogether.
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