Commitment used to mean something, albeit simple. It simply involved two people who grew interested in each other, started seeing each other, and made affirmations of sticking together through adversity and joys equally. However, in current times, commitment has become diluted and spoiled by the effects of social media. The line between genuineness and ambivalence in commitment has become vague and almost indiscernible. People are quietly shifting their focus from commitment to digital correspondence, meetups, boundaries, and more. Commitment has become something more debatable, where it is difficult to delineate the boundaries, emotions, and interpretations of loyalty considerably. Social media and the rise of the digital culture are to blame for these changes.
The Line between Public and Private has Grown Blurry
There was no pressure on couples to prove or showcase their commitment to the world. They were there for each other, and that was deemed sufficient. However, in modern times, where social media is dominant, there is a race to prove your commitment and strength to the world. Selfies, date posts, and stories have replaced the sincere and personalized approach that signified commitment in a relationship.
Soft Launches are the Norm Now
Soft launches have replaced the conventional milestones of updating relationship statuses on Facebook or other social media sites. You have to share a cropped photo with your partner on a certain date to officially announce your relationship. This soft launch trend is indicative of an aversion to pure commitment, as modern dating is defined by caution and constant screening.
Emotional Loyalty is Now Scrutinized
Commitment meant that you remained true and committed to a person physically. Granted, there wasn’t much ground or basis for engaging or gauging one’s emotional commitment. However, nowadays, emotional fidelity is also placed under the spotlight. The act of messaging an ex, replying with heart emojis, and other acts that signal emotional indiscretion are construed as a form of cheating as well.
Oversharing Negatively Affects Intimacy
Intimacy is an integral part of a relationship. However, it depends upon open communication and sharing details between partners, which is limited to them and them alone. But that isn’t the case anymore, as every single minute detail about a person can be found online via social media posts. This grievously undermines any attempts at striking chemistry or intimacy between two individuals. The entire focus has altered from seeking connection to curating perfection online.
Digital Validation is the Dominant Trend
Commitment meant that you sought and gained praise and validation from your partner, and that was sufficient. In modern times, where social media is prevalent, this focus has shifted as well. Likes, comments, and hearts on your posts are regarded as a sign of loyalty and love instead. Social media gestures have overtaken genuine affection, and this is a point of perturbation for many.
Honest Conversations are Nonexistent
The best way to resolve problems in a relationship is through deep and meaningful conversations. However, with the rise of ghosting, breadcrumbing, and other asinine patterns spawned by social media, honest conversations have become a thing of the past. People don’t care or just aren’t interested in expanding the effort to engage in good, clean, and frank conversations anymore, and it has complicated matters significantly.
Boundaries Have Changed
Commitment meant respecting your partner’s boundaries, be they emotional, physical, or relational. Now, though, boundaries have taken on a new form where people have to be wary about digital boundaries as well. These include pages to follow or unfollow, friend requests to send or repress, not being too frank or friendly online, what to and not to post, and so forth. Social media has indeed made a mess of this aspect.
Constant Comparison is on the Rise
Couples are constantly uploading pictures, stories, and other happenings of their love life online for all to see. This creates an endless loop of comparison games where a couple constantly compares themselves to others. This is a never-ending loop that often ends badly for the couples involved.
The Definition of Forever has been Altered
Commitment was about staying true and connected with the other forever, and by that, it was implied tacitly for life. However, modern social media trends have changed the definition of forever to remaining emotionally honest, mutually respecting each other, and being completely present in the relationship as long as the latter’s connection is authentic. Duration has been substituted by depth in present times.
DMs are Ambiguous Channels
DMs can be filled with messages that serve to strengthen or shatter relationships. The lines separating commitment and fidelity are rendered ambiguous due to these private message containers. These are where emotional cheating, flirtation messages, or even secret friendships that test and break relationships are stored. Commitment in the older days was bereft of such a complicated component and made things much simpler.
Breakups are Dramatic Now
Breakups in the past were a private, quiet, and unremarkable occurrence. They weren’t publicly announced and were considered to be a private matter. Nowadays, breakups are announced dramatically and in the form of a public announcement. All social media accounts are filled with numerous poignant and prominent expressions of breakups. These involve deleting pictures, changing relationship statuses, posting mysterious comments, and other unbecoming acts. These seek to alarm and inform about the breakup, a direct contrary approach to retaining commitment.
There is an Increase in the “Soft Commitment” Aspect of Modern Dating
Commitment in relationships meant being able to confidently and unequivocally state that you were attached to another person. It left no room for ambiguity or doubt. However, the “soft commitment” approach, where the exclusivity of a couple isn’t properly delineated or announced, is on the rise now. Couples announce on social media sites that they are dating someone but don’t articulate exclusivity or commitment. This absence of conventional markers for commitment has stimulated the appearance of polyamorous and open relationships to an alarming extent.
Your Attention is Molded by the Algorithm
No longer are we guided by the emotions and sentiments that make us human and compel us to love in relationships. Now, it is all about the algorithm and how it can be exploited to connect with a person we can call desirable and appropriate. Standards, ambitions, desires, and even commitment are subjected to the all-powerful algorithm before it can be announced to the world.
Privacy is Rare, but Coveted
It is quite surprising that in these fast and social media-obsessed times, the thing that is deemed most precious is privacy. A couple’s cohesion is interpreted as being unprecedented when they keep their romantic life private. They don’t share and instead choose a more conventional and subdued approach towards expressing their commitment on social media. Ironic that this rarity has made privacy the most precious and coveted indicator of intimacy and romance, even in today’s digital age.
Relationships have Become More Transparent
Social media has made the inner workings of a relationship more transparent and open. This increased transparency isn’t without its set of problems, as it has complicated matters for couples everywhere. The accountability factor has gone up for one, and even the smallest mistake or misstep can lead to egregious consequences.
Mastering Two Realities
True commitment in these present times means that you have to master two different realities. There is the real one, in the physical realm, and the digital, online one. You have to strive to attain a balance between them both and attempt to bring some semblance of actual stability and commitment to your relationship.
Final Thoughts
Social media has irrevocably changed the scenario of dating. The conventional markers that defined commitment in relationships are gone now. They are replaced by new, clearer, yet convoluted principles that are linked to the online realm. You need to be careful, methodical, and cautious in your approach if you want to give your relationship a chance at long-lasting success.
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