The foundation stone of any relationship, whether friendship or romantic, is based on trust. While the cases of betrayal and disloyalty in relationships receive all the spotlight, few speak of the events that lead to this stage. Cheating is the outcome of a series of small events that accumulated over time to cause this blow to the relationship. One way to prevent the stage of betrayal is by addressing those minor or major issues that lead to the main event of trust breach.
Not Respecting the Small Commitments
At the start, both partners want to work on the relationship, but when one partner constantly backtracks on his promises, for instance, like not showing up for a date night on time, it chips away at trust and develops anger in their partner’s heart.
Not Remembering the Important Details
One major blow to trust occurs when one partner constantly forgets the most important events or details about things that matter to their partner. Imagine your partner waiting for you at a surprise candlelight dinner they made especially for you, to cut your anniversary cake together, and you not only forget the date but also come home empty-handed and late. Forgetfulness is sure to drive a wedge between you and your partner.
Frequent Lying
When you begin lying about the smallest of things, like not picking up your partner’s phone while chatting with your colleague during lunch break, only to later tell them you were stuck in an official meeting with the boss. These seemingly small lies sow seeds of mistrust related to even bigger matters to a point where your partner doesn’t even trust your truth anymore.
Masking Your Emotions
The key component of building trust is to win it by your open expression of feelings and concerns. When you start concealing your true emotions or intentions from your partner, mistrust ensues. This way, you lose both emotional intimacy and trust.
Avoiding Accountability
When you don’t feel truly responsible for the struggles in your relationship and keep attributing the emotional and romantic waning to outside factors, you will never win your partner’s trust, but rather lose even the little bit of trust they had in you. Being accountable and accepting blame are the cornerstones of a healthy conflict resolution in a relationship; without this, the connection shatters.
Erratic Communication
When you make your communication suspicious, for example, by replying to their texts haphazardly and irregularly. It makes your partner feel undervalued and neglected. It not only deepens the suspicions but erodes the trust completely one day.
Not Setting Respectful Boundaries
Showing utter disregard for your partner’s personal boundaries is proof that you have no respect or love for them. If you are pushing their boundaries, you are cultivating doubts in their heart.
Acting All Mysterious
When you have locks and passwords on your phone, when you go out of your partner’s audible range and field vision to answer a call, or when you put down your phone as soon as your partner enters the room, it conveys to them the message that you are hiding something from them. This casts doubt upon your character, and your partner loses trust and respect for you.
Downplaying Their Troubles
A trustworthy partner listens attentively to their partner and tries to figure things out for them. When a partner dismisses their partner’s voice, labelling it a drama, they not only invalidate their emotions but also make them trust them a little less every time. You know you have lost your partner’s trust when they stop coming to you when any problem arises.
Covert Aggression
When your partner resorts to underhanded comments, cynicism, and other such passive-aggressive jabs instead of clear communication, you close your heart to them. You cannot trust a partner with inconsistent and hurtful behavior towards you.
Not Walking the Talk
When a partner’s words and actions are not aligned, you can’t help but lose trust in them. A reliable partner would work on improving trust by being true to their word and not damaging it.
Constant Fault-Finding
A partner who is engaged in finding faults in their partner but hesitates using words of appreciation to them will most certainly weaken their connection and lose their partner’s trust over time.
Being Inattentive
When you have no value for your partner in your eyes, you give no value to their words. You can’t even offer them undivided attention as they talk about things that matter, or even when you do, you aren’t fully listening; this breaks trust in a very heartbreaking manner.
No Plans Together
When you stop planning joint activities or stop including your partner in financial decisions and future planning, your partner loses a sense of security in your connection. Nothing erodes trust more than the realization that your partner doesn’t even value your presence in their life, which leads to uncertainty.
Not Delivering on Your Promises
When you make commitments without the seriousness and intention to follow through with your promises, you are shattering your partner’s trust.
Ambiguity Leads to Suspicion
How secure your partner feels in their relationship with you depends on how consistent and transparent you are in your dealings with them. If you aren’t authentic, they may doubt your intentions forever,and mistrust only grows bigger.
Not Overcoming Resentment
At times, both partners in a relationship are unwilling to let go of resentment to heal together. Every new fight brings back the past hurts into discussion, and the wounds never get a chance to heal. Trust is never regained when the partners stay on the defensive instead of overcoming past traumas to start afresh.7
You are not even Sorry
The most unreliable partner is the one who doesn’t own up to his mistakes and keeps repeating the past hurtful patterns. Avoiding a simple, sincere apology followed by improved ways results in irreparably damaged trust.
Final Thoughts
Trust does not evaporate all of a sudden but is the result of small acts of dishonesty, betrayal, disrespect, and inconsistency. When your partner is hurt beyond repair, they can no longer trust you with their fragile heart. Because when they did, you broke it mercilessly every single time, over and over again, till they lost trust completely. For a couple that wants to salvage their relationship while there’s still time, respect, honesty, transparency, and consistency are the key.
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