Not every person who holds back is doing so because they are not interested in you; rather, they do it out of fear of not letting you in on their true self. They fear letting you see their true, flawed self because they don’t want to repulse you. They even feel that their true self might not be enough, not worthy enough for your love and attention. They start displaying certain behaviors and actions that signal that they might not want you to reach further into their lives and see their real, genuine, unfiltered self. Read on and learn about these signs right here.
They Keep Conversations Surface-Level
These are the people who will laugh, talk, and engage you enthusiastically, but all of these are superficial in nature and never really go beyond the surface. They don’t want to share anything that can make you judge or reject them on the spot.
They Deflect When Things Get Personal
They will choose to avoid, deflect, or even resort to mocking when deeper and meaningful conversations come up. They will deliberately remain vague because they feel like honesty won’t serve them best under these circumstances.
They Try to Seem “Perfect” Around You
They want to appear flawless around you, and that is why they go the extra mile to curate a nearly perfect image in front of you. Be it about their mannerisms or the way they act and respond, all of these appear premeditated. They want you to see the polished version they present, not the one that they hold near their hearts and deeply within themselves.
They Avoid Talking About Their Past
They totally circumvent all scenarios where they might have to start discussing their past with you. They do this because they don’t want to inadvertently divulge crucial information about their past with you, the pain, and things that expose their flaws, and they aren’t proud of them. That is why they choose to remain quiet instead of sharing these details with you.
They Downplay Their Feelings
They will act as if something doesn’t hold much value or impact, even when it does. They will always try to trivialize and downplay the significance of their feelings and needs just so they can prevent inconveniencing you or risking forming a connection with you.
They Take a Long Time to Open Up
Trust is something that doesn’t come readily to them. They are very slow to give their trust to anyone, sometimes with great reticence. They aren’t doing this because they want to remain distant and emotionally closed-off from you; rather, they do this because they want to feel safe.
They Overthink What They Say
They are the kind of people who overthink and hyperanalyze everything, be it their texts, responses, and every word that they say. They do this because they feel like they will be judged for these things, so they focus excessively on them instead of honestly and candidly communicating with others.
They Apologize For Who They Are
They will be the ones who apologize profusely and frequently, even for the mistakes they didn’t commit. This is a subtle technique they employ to ensure that you don’t react too strongly when they show their true self to you.
They Keep Parts of Their Life Separate
The thing about these people is that they aren’t completely forthcoming with all aspects of their lives with you. They will strive to keep certain sides of their life hidden from you. They do this so that you don’t end up judging them if they give you the complete picture associated with their personality and inner self.
They Pull Away After Moments of Closeness
There come certain tender times when you actually feel connected to them on a deep and emotional level. However, they instantly pull away when they feel things are getting serious between you and them. They do this not because they don’t want to be loved or connected to you, but because they don’t want you to see their real and actual selves.
They Rely on Humor to Hide Vulnerability
Humor is the crutch that they increasingly rely on to deflect and soften the seriousness of emotional moments and meaningful conversations. It is the shield they use to keep things from getting too profound and genuine between you and them.
They Struggle to Accept Compliments
They are not the kind of people who accept compliments easily or even show gratification in response to them. They would rather brush them off or minimize them because they, in the deepest parts of their souls, believe that they are not worthy of being praised.
They Test You in Subtle Ways
These people try to test whether they can be their genuine selves around you through subtle tests. They might withdraw slightly from you, say something personal about themselves, or assess how you react to small weaknesses and vulnerabilities.
They Fear Being a “Burden”
They don’t want to be a burden on you, and that is why they hesitate increasingly to share their feelings, needs, or even their problems with you. They do this because they don’t want you to worry too much about them and don’t want to become too dependent on you in this aspect.
They Love Quietly, Not Openly
They care for you, not openly, but in more indirect, subtle, small, and consistent ways. They don’t make grand declarations but still love you in their own way, silently and subtly. They don’t openly show their love because being indirect is comfortable and suits them far more.
Final Thoughts
When a person is afraid of letting you see their genuine selves, their behavior might become too ambiguous and confusing. They become too unpredictable, being warm and cordial one moment and closed off the next. But under it all, they are always plagued with the same doubt: whether you will like them and choose to stay if you see their true selves or not.
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