15 Things You Should Stop Apologizing for In Your Relationship

Saying sorry over the mistakes to mend the relationship is quite a healthy habit, but sometimes the overuse of apologies can slowly damage your self-esteem, and you may end up in a constant cycle of self-blame and guilt. This problem is more common in people who are sensitive and perceive things deeply. Their overthinking makes them believe that every problem is their fault, and they start apologizing.

Here are 15 things you should stop apologizing for in your relationship

For Being Emotional

Feeling all kinds of your emotions is part of being human. You can’t be expected to mask your feelings. So, remember to never apologize for being human, as a good partner will always understand and listen to you and won’t judge you for expressing yourself. A poor partner, on the contrary, will always judge you, no matter how many times you say sorry, so do not feel apologetic for being human.

For Wanting Alone Time

Most of us always need some alone time to sit in the silence of our own company to self-evaluate and self-reflect. Bear in mind that wanting to have some personal space does not in any way make you selfish. In fact, it offers you a chance to reflect on your real patterns and to stay in sync with yourself.

For Protecting Your Boundaries

Respectful boundaries are a sign of a healthy relationship. With no boundaries, whether emotional, physical, or digital, in place, a relationship cannot thrive. You cannot value yourself and your opinion. It’s okay to say no to things when they don’t feel right to you, rather than overextending yourself. Your boundaries are your real strength in a relationship.

For Prioritizing Yourself

You don’t have to be a martyr in the relationship to be considered a good partner.  Sometimes, in pursuing your own goals and needs, you may not be emotionally or physically available to your partner. In moments like these, do not feel guilty for prioritizing your own peace and self-growth, because it’s totally natural to want to grow as a person. You don’t necessarily have to sacrifice your identity for a relationship to work out. A good partner will always understand that mutual growth is the key to a successful relationship.

For Communicating Your Needs

Another thing that you should never feel apologetic for is asking your partner for your needs. You have every right to ask your partner when you want more effort, more affection, honesty, or time in the relationship.  A good partner will always allow you to express your feelings and not feel challenged by them.

For Being Authentic

Being yourself is what makes you ‘you.’ If you give up on parts of yourself just to accommodate and please someone else, then you are shrinking yourself to mold into their definition of perfection. You don’t have to abandon your authenticity to make a relationship sustainable. A relationship built on genuineness is a relationship worth striving for, not the other way around.

For Your Past

We all have a history of childhood traumas, heartbreaks, or failed relationships, but you do not need to feel apologetic for making mistakes in the past. Don’t let your past dictate your current relationship. To err is human. Give yourself the margin of being human. And remember that you do not owe an apology for your past mistakes to your partner.

For Your Dreams

We all have a right to dream. If you have any passions or goals, do not feel that you have to let go of your ambitions to make a relationship work. A healthy relationship dynamic is where both partners view each other as a team and celebrate each other’s achievements rather than being threatened by the other’s growth.

For Choosing to Say No

In a relationship, you both have an equal right to express your take on any decision that might impact your relationship as a whole. You should never be sorry for saying no to things that you are not comfortable with. Having clarity of mind from the start and respecting your own personal choice is not a betrayal. It, in fact, shows that you are a person on your own, and you are not giving up on yourself just to maintain peace in the relationship.

For Your Imperfections

Real love is all about acceptance. A person who will love you will love you with all your quirks and imperfections. So, a true connection does not pressure you into maintaining a facade of perfection just to be loved by your partner.

For Your Accomplishment

If you try to downplay your accomplishments just to make your partner feel better about themselves, then this is not what an ideal relationship should look like. A healthy relationship has two secure partners who are happy about each other’s accomplishments, rather than expressing insecurity or jealousy.

For Wanting Some Validation

You are not seeking validation from everyone but seeking validation and appreciation from your partner for the little ways you add value to your relationship, and it’s nothing to feel guilty for. It’s absolutely normal to wish to be appreciated by your partner. If your connection is strong and there is expression of love and gratitude, then you would feel valued. It makes your relationship worthwhile because appreciation is a form of positive communication.

For Being Comfortable In Your Own Skin

You may want to get ready on some days, but you may not want to get all dressed up on other days. On some days, if you prefer your comfort dress over a formal outfit, it’s totally fine; you don’t have to apologize for not making any effort to look beautiful because you were tired or busy.  It’s totally your choice, and a person who loves you will embrace you just the way you are, every day.

For Being Opinionated

Holding your own opinion shows that you have the power to think and observe. If you have a different perspective from your partner, it’s not the end of the world. Two people can be together and in love and still have different perspectives on life or something else in general, so don’t overthink about this. Don’t feel sorry for yours, and don’t try to change theirs. This way, your debates will stay healthy, and you won’t be bothered by your partners’ views, because they are entitled to their own viewpoint, and you to yours.

For Wanting Happiness

You deserve to be truly and fully happy. Never feel sorry for wanting a connection that brings joy, calm, and emotional fulfillment in your life. Love should feel safe in a safe relationship.

Final Thoughts

Sincere apologies are essential to a healthy relationship, but over-apologizing for feeling sorry for who you are, how you feel, and what you want in your relationship is not a healthy dynamic. Trying to shrink yourself for your partner diminishes your sense of self and ultimately impacts your relationship with your partner. For your peace of mind, understand that a good partner will love you for your true, authentic self and will not expect you to sacrifice your identity for them.