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Sorry Men, Here Are Things You Do That Make Women Lose Respect

Updated on September 3, 2025 by TMM Staff · Dating & Confidence, Lifestyle

A couple having a fight
©Curated Lifestyle/Unsplash.com

Respect isn’t something you earn once and then keep forever–it’s a daily practice. A lot of men don’t realize that the small habits they brush off as “normal” can slowly chip away at the way a woman sees them. The truth is, women notice the little things. They notice how you treat people, how you handle stress, and whether you actually do what you say you’ll do. And while attraction may spark in the beginning, respect is what sustains it long-term.

Table of Contents

Toggle
  • 1. Not Following Through on Your Word
  • 2. Constant Complaining Without Action
  • 3. Being Rude to Service Staff
  • 4. Avoiding Responsibility When Things Go Wrong
  • 5. Being Glued to Your Phone
  • 6. Making Jokes at Her Expense
  • 7. Not Having Any Ambition
  • 8. Poor Hygiene and Grooming
  • 9. Acting Differently Around Your Friends
  • 10. Talking Over Her or Ignoring Her Input
  • 11. Jealousy Masquerading as Protection
  • 12. Overindulging in Alcohol
  • 13. Putting Down Other Men to Feel Taller
  • 14. Being Financially Irresponsible
  • 15. Refusing to Apologize
  • 16. Lack of Emotional Regulation
  • 17. Being All Talk, No Action
  • 18. Taking Her for Granted

Here are the subtle (and not-so-subtle) behaviors that make women lose respect for men–and what you can do instead if you want to strengthen the way she sees you.

1. Not Following Through on Your Word

©Getty Images/Unsplash.com

When you constantly say you’ll do something and never follow through, it sends the message that your word doesn’t carry weight. Women don’t need perfection, but they do need consistency. If you promise you’ll fix something, call when you say you will, or handle an issue, actually do it. Reliability builds trust, and trust is the foundation of respect. Stop giving excuses and start treating your promises like commitments.

2. Constant Complaining Without Action

A couple fighting in the car
©Getty Images/Unsplash.com

Everyone vents sometimes, but if all you do is complain about your job, your friends, or life in general–without taking any steps to change things–it gets draining fast. To a woman, this looks like weakness, because it shows you don’t take control of your own circumstances. Instead of just unloading, channel that energy into solutions. Show that you’re willing to face challenges head-on, and she’ll see you as a man who owns his life, not one who wallows in it.

3. Being Rude to Service Staff

A man being rude to a server
©Image: Open AI

You can tell a lot about someone by how they treat waiters, cashiers, or anyone in a “lower power” role. If you’re dismissive or condescending, it signals entitlement and lack of empathy. Women respect men who treat everyone with dignity, no matter their job or status. Make eye contact, say thank you, and be patient–it costs nothing but shows volumes about your character.

4. Avoiding Responsibility When Things Go Wrong

©Getty Images/Unsplash.com

Passing the blame is one of the fastest ways to lose respect. Whether it’s a mistake at work, forgetting an important date, or mishandling a situation, owning up shows maturity. Excuses may protect your ego in the moment, but they erode credibility over time. Women respect men who say, “That’s on me, and here’s how I’ll fix it,” because it demonstrates strength, not weakness.

5. Being Glued to Your Phone

A man using his phone outdoors
©Štefan Štefančík/Unsplash.com

If you’re always scrolling, checking notifications, or texting while she’s trying to talk to you, she notices–and it feels like she’s competing with a screen. Constant distraction shows a lack of presence and priority. Respect grows when she feels heard and seen. Put your phone face down, ask questions, and actually engage. The message is simple: nothing on your phone is more important than the person in front of you.

6. Making Jokes at Her Expense

A man making fun of his wife in public
©Image: Open AI

Playful teasing can be fun, but when the “jokes” cut too deep or target her insecurities, it comes off as disrespect, not humor. If you often hide insults behind sarcasm, it chips away at her trust in you. Respectful men know the line between lighthearted fun and belittling. If you’re unsure, ask yourself: would I laugh if the roles were reversed?

7. Not Having Any Ambition

A man laying on the couch
©@felirbe/Unsplash.com

You don’t need to be a millionaire or have a five-year plan mapped out, but women respect men who strive for something more. A lack of ambition signals stagnation, and it can make her wonder if you’ll grow alongside her. It’s less about chasing money and more about having direction. Show her you care about your personal growth–whether it’s advancing your career, learning new skills, or improving your health.

8. Poor Hygiene and Grooming

A woman covering her nose so as not to smell her husband
©Image: Open AI

It’s simple but overlooked: neglecting basic hygiene is one of the fastest ways to kill respect (and attraction). If you can’t be bothered to shower, trim your nails, or wear clean clothes, it reads as laziness. Women don’t expect you to look like a runway model, but they do want to see effort. Self-care signals self-respect, and if you respect yourself, others are far more likely to respect you too.

9. Acting Differently Around Your Friends

Friends having beer together
©Getty Images/Unsplash.com

If you’re sweet and considerate with her one-on-one but turn into a completely different guy around your buddies–louder, dismissive, or even disrespectful–it raises red flags. It suggests your personality shifts depending on who’s watching, which makes her question your authenticity. Women respect men who are the same person in every room, no matter the audience.

10. Talking Over Her or Ignoring Her Input

A couple having a fight on the couch
©Getty Images/Unsplash.com

Respect is rooted in listening. If you constantly interrupt her, dismiss her ideas, or fail to consider her perspective, she feels undervalued. Even if you think you “know better,” steamrolling her opinions signals arrogance. A woman respects a man who makes space for her voice and shows that he values her input as much as his own.

11. Jealousy Masquerading as Protection

A couple fighting outdoors
©Getty Images/Unsplash.com

There’s a fine line between being protective and being controlling. If you constantly question her about where she is, who she’s with, or why she didn’t text back fast enough, it doesn’t come across as care–it comes across as insecurity. True protection means supporting her freedom, not limiting it. A man who trusts his partner earns respect; one who tries to police her loses it.

12. Overindulging in Alcohol

A man drinking with friends
©Taylor Brandon/Unsplash.com

Getting sloppy drunk might have been funny in college, but as an adult, it’s a fast track to embarrassment. Women quickly lose respect for men who can’t control their drinking because it signals recklessness and lack of discipline. Enjoy a drink, sure, but know your limit. Self-control in social settings shows maturity, and maturity is deeply respected.

13. Putting Down Other Men to Feel Taller

A man about to fight another man
©Curated Lifestyle/Unsplash.com

Constantly criticizing or mocking other men isn’t strength–it’s insecurity. Whether you’re tearing down a coworker or making fun of a stranger at the gym, it reflects poorly on you. Real confidence doesn’t need to diminish others. Women respect men who can stand tall without stepping on someone else.

14. Being Financially Irresponsible

A man playing poker
©Keenan Constance/Unsplash.com

Money isn’t everything, but recklessness with money signals irresponsibility. Constant debt, overspending, gambling, or never saving for the future shows lack of foresight. Women respect men who manage their finances wisely, even if they’re not rich. Budgeting, planning, and living within your means show that you can handle life’s responsibilities without dragging her into chaos.

15. Refusing to Apologize

A couple fighting in the kitchen  
©Getty Images/Unsplash.com

No one’s perfect, but if you can’t bring yourself to say “I was wrong” or “I’m sorry,” it signals ego over humility. Women don’t respect men who dig in their heels just to “win” an argument. A sincere apology doesn’t make you weak–it makes you trustworthy. Own your mistakes, and you’ll earn more respect than you ever could by denying them.

16. Lack of Emotional Regulation

A man yelling at the camera
©Ryan Snaadt/Unsplash.com

Flying off the handle at small inconveniences, sulking when things don’t go your way, or shutting down during conflict shows emotional immaturity. Women lose respect quickly when a man can’t handle his emotions. The men who keep their composure, express feelings calmly, and work through tension without drama are the ones who stand out as stable and strong.

17. Being All Talk, No Action

A man talking on the phone
©Getty Images/Unsplash.com

It’s easy to talk about the big dreams you have or the things you’re “going to do someday.” But if there’s never any action behind the words, it turns into empty noise. Women respect men who back their words with movement, even if progress is slow. Show effort, take small steps, and let your actions prove your intentions.

18. Taking Her for Granted

A couple not looking at each other
©Getty Images/Unsplash.com

The quickest way to lose a woman’s respect is to stop appreciating her. When you assume she’ll always be there no matter what, or stop acknowledging the little things she does, she notices. Respect thrives in gratitude. Tell her thank you, compliment her, and show that you value her presence in your life. Never let comfort turn into complacency.

Dating & Confidence, Lifestyle

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About TMM Staff

The Modest Man staff writers are experts in men's lifestyle who love teaching guys how to live their best lives.

If an article is published under TMM Staff, that means multiple writers worked on it. For example, sometimes several of us have experience with a certain brand, so we collaborate to publish a more thorough review.

Or, if an article was originally written by one person, but then it was updated by someone else, we'll re-publish it under TMM Staff.

Remember: all of our articles (including those below) are written by real people with decades of combined experience in men's fashion and lifestyle topics.

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