Your life partner is your constant companion, a confidant, friend, and partner on the journey we call life. You should never abandon them and remain by their side and exhort them, uplift them, and protect them. However, there are certain things that you certainly shouldn’t neglect when it comes to your love life. These include some boundaries that are beyond negotiation and can’t be bargained on. If your partner begins to infringe on these or violates them, then it is time to leave. It doesn’t bode well for your well-being if you stick around after one of these acts has been committed. It will only go downhill after that point and you will be subjected to immense emotional turmoil and depression. Read on and learn more about the things that make a relationship unsustainable.
Making a Major Life Change
Small comments about simple things like your preference in clothing, collecting comic books, or your haircut choices are tolerable and fine. However, if your partner asks you to change major things in your life like your career, studies, religion, and other things that are crucial components of your personality, then this is a matter of grave significance. This is a serious red flag and it shows that your partner wants to control you. They don’t support you in your goals and want to mold you into their version of perfection.
Providing Them your Phone Passcode
You are entitled to keep some things private in your life, and that is nothing to be ashamed of. This privacy extends to include many things, most prominently your phone. The latter is a personal piece of equipment that houses your professional secrets and correspondence, your friends list, and your entire social media activity. A partner who demands that you give them your passcode is violating your privacy, a profound boundary in the relationship. It reveals a lack of trust on their part regarding you. This is an issue that needs to be seriously addressed, because otherwise, what is stopping you from breaking up and moving on? After all, nothing is greater than trust in a relationship and once it is gone, it can’t be sustained.
Make Sure Everything is Exactly Equal
There are no equal divisions of responsibility in a successful relationship. Amazing couples learn to compromise and serve the other, even if it isn’t considered completely fair. The best relationships are the ones where it is difficult to distinguish which person brings more to the table. There is nothing like keeping score in a relationship and making sure that everything remains equal erodes romance and trust in a relationship.
Keeping a Bad Secret or Lie for Them
You should never be forced to keep a dark secret for your partner. Also, they shouldn’t make you lie for them to escape a tough situation. Secrecy and lies of any kind quietly destroy relationships and it is wrong of your partner to put you in such a position. You shouldn’t be made to choose between them and doing what is right. You should pack up and move on if your partner does have something that they have to lie about and hide so intensely.
Ignore Cheating
This is an absolute no-no in a relationship. Cheating, by its very nature, is devastating and incredibly poisonous for a relationship. A partner who is willing to sacrifice everything that you have built with them for a fleeting, cheap thrill is not worth keeping. No matter how much they compel, implore, or gaslight you, never ever condone cheating. Cheaters don’t change and even if you end up forgiving them, the chances of them repeating the same mistakes are very high.
Quitting Your Job
A partner who forces you to quit your job isn’t trustworthy. When it comes to men, they pride themselves on their traditional role of being the provider in the relationship. He might force the woman in the relationship to give up her career to focus on the family. It might also be a move designed to boost his own sense of masculinity. On the other hand, a career-driven woman might want her man to be more domesticated and home-oriented. She might be forcing him to change up jobs or quit it altogether. In both cases, it is wrong to demand such a thing of your partner.
Pressure in the Bedroom
Sex is meant to be an intimate ritual that connects a couple on a closer level, both physically and emotionally. It should be a safe haven for both individuals, one where they can take pleasure in each other’s company and not be under any kind of stress. A partner that forces you to perform sexual acts that you dislike or insists on doing things their way is bringing unwanted pressure into the whole act. You should seriously consider abandoning such a relationship if your partner doesn’t relent in making these undesired demands.
Forbid You from Talking about Something
It can be anything, from your hobbies to yours or her parents’, your favorite movie, video game, and so forth. If your partner refrains you from talking about anything that they disapprove of, then it is a clear sign that they don’t respect you. This act can have lasting negative effects on the relationship. That is why you shouldn’t stick around for such a partner who forbids you from talking about something.
Tolerating Abuse from Their Family
You should never ever put up with abuse from your partner’s side of the family. They don’t have the right to intrude so prominently in your private life. You are entitled ot privacy and that includes all matters concerning your relationship. Your partner can comment and complain about whatever issues they might have with you. This doesn’t give their parents or relatives a green pass to criticize you, though. If your partner’s family can’t stay out of the equation and is overly involved in all matters, then it is better to cut the cord and leave the relationship.
Break up with Your Best Friend
A partner should never make you choose between them and your best friend. Friends are different, as they afford you a level of camaraderie that can’t be expressed in words. They are a constant source of enjoyment, laughter, and confidence. The times and experiences that friends undergo together strengthen their bond to unprecedented levels. Asking you to choose between love and friendship is incredibly unfair.
Using Guilt as a Weapon
A partner who is forcing you to feel guilty to manipulate you into doing their bidding isn’t a keeper. They resort to emotional blackmail, crocodile tears, and subtle snide remarks for arousing guilt. This should never be tolerated and you would be better off ditching such a partner.
Control Disguised as Love
If they say something cutting and cruel and then follow it up with an affirmation of love and do it out of the latter, then go on alert. These types of partners like to gaslight and this is a mode of manipulation disguised as love. Don’t fall for their sweet and soft exterior. These people are dark to the core and will do anything in their power to manipulate you.
Controlling Your Finances
You know a partner is insincere when they try to control your finances. They treat you like their personal ATM, with constant demands for new things, all at your expense. This shows that the love that they accord to you is transactional and depends on your ability to provide. Such selfish people are incompatible and you should drop them as soon as the opportunity presents itself.
Making You Feel Small for Saying No
A reliable partner will never react negatively to your refusal to do something. A manipulative one will freak out, withdraw emotionally, and give you the silent treatment. They want you to know that they can’t stand refusal from your side, be it for anything. They make the prospect of saying “No” mortifying for you, and that is completely unacceptable.
They Drain Your Confidence
They are always criticizing you, ridiculing your every passion or hobby, and generally chipping away at your confidence. Such an act causes you to lose your sense of self-worth and reality. That is why you should walk away from a partner who saps you of your confidence gradually.
Keeping Tabs on You
A partner can worry about you and that can compel them to keep a record of your movements and interactions outside of home. However, if a partner tries to be excessively involved in this regard, then this is reflective of a manipulative mindset. They will constantly monitor your whereabouts: who you meet, where you go, what kind of food you eat, your exercise and physical activity and so forth. Such unstable and controlling partners shouldn’t be brought along on a life commitment.
Final Thoughts
Having a partner is one of the greatest joys in life. But a partner that commits any of these violations isn’t one that you should dedicate your life to. Be smarter, leave such abusive relationships early and find better, more promising ones. You deserve to be happy and content in your love life.
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