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Argue Like You Still Want to Kiss Her After: 15 Rules for Men Who Fight to Stay in Love

Updated on November 3, 2025 by TMM Staff ยท Dating & Confidence

A man and a woman sitting on a wooden bench.
ยฉA.C./Unsplash.com

It is a universal truth that all couples get into the occasional spat now and then. They argue about anything and everything, and most of the time, it is an expression of love. Arguments are meant to allow both to vent about something that they find irritating, and that is that. However, it is how you argue and go back and forth with the verbal comebacks that determines the type of man you are.

Some men fight to win, while some want to be proven right under any circumstance. Then some want to fight for the sheer thrill of it. But there is another kind, a man who fights and argues and yet wants to stay deeply in love.

These men know that real strength doesn’t come from raising their voice to higher volumes but rather from protecting and maintaining a bond even when they are in the midst of arguing or fighting. They know that it is imperative to remain collected and in command of their senses even when tensions are running high. These are the men who actually make it through the tough seasons and maintain the integrity and strength in their relationship.

Table of Contents

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  • He Listens to Understand, Not to Retort
  • He Knows Peace is the Main Goal
  • He Keeps His Tone Collected and Controlled
  • He Doesn’t Utilize Silence as a Weapon
  • His Arguments Reflect His Love
  • He Doesn’t Shift Blame
  • He Knows When to Relent
  • He Doesn’t Dig up the Past
  • He Admits When He’s Wrong
  • He Keeps His Ego in Check
  • He Remains Curious
  • He Focuses on the Issue
  • He Protects Her Dignity
  • He Ends the Fight with a Reaffirmation
  • He Fights Like He Wants to Protect the Relationship
  • Final Thoughts

He Listens to Understand, Not to Retort

A couple arguing while sitting on a couch.
ยฉVitaly Gariev/Unsplash.com

A man who listens carefully while arguing is the one you want on your side for life. He is the kind of man who intently listens to her side of things while arguing and pauses when necessary. He understands and responds clearly instead of reacting instinctively or spitefully.

He Knows Peace is the Main Goal

A man and woman sitting on a couch looking at each other.
ยฉLia Bekyan/Unsplash.com

This is the man who doesn’t visualize victory as the final goal in the argument. For him, the real aim is the accomplishment and continued maintenance of peace in the relationship. He isn’t willing to compromise the connection for the sake of having the last word in the altercation.

He Keeps His Tone Collected and Controlled

A man speaking softly to a woman who appears a bit distressed.
ยฉGetty Images/unsplash.com

This man realizes that raising his voice will repress and shock her, and it probably will destroy her sense of security concerning him. He loves his woman and wouldn’t raise his voice if it meant she never felt safe again in his presence. For him, the real display of power is remaining calm during times of duress.

He Doesn’t Utilize Silence as a Weapon

A bearded man listening to a woman complain. .
ยฉFotos/Unsplash.com

This is the man who doesn’t weaponize silence. He knows that practicing silence or fully embracing quiet mode isn’t a sign of maturity but rather a form of manipulation. He gives her the space she needs but never erects barriers that can’t be broken when it comes to communication.

His Arguments Reflect His Love

Couple after having an argument.
ยฉGetty Images/Unsplash.com

He constantly keeps reminding her that she matters to him and professes his love, even during the arguments. That is because he knows that arguments subside, but any disrespectful comments made during them linger for a long time.

He Doesn’t Shift Blame

Young couple lying down on bed with painful expressions.
ยฉGetty Images/Unsplash.com

He never blames the argument solely on his woman. He takes accountability where it is needed and reminds her that this is a phase that they can endure with teamwork and collaboration.

He Knows When to Relent

A couple looking away from each other.
ยฉCurated Lifestyle/Unsplash.com

Sometimes the best thing to do in an argument is simply tap out. The ideal man knows that he might say something irrevocably damaging in the heat of the moment. So, he chooses the appropriate moment to step back, cool off, and then calmly approach the issue if the need arises.

He Doesn’t Dig up the Past

A man and a woman standing next to each other.
ยฉAlexander Mass/Unsplash.com

This is the kind of man who doesn’t exhume old battles and arguments from the past and use them as a weapon against his woman. He takes the arguments of the present head-on and leaves the older ones where they belong, in the past.

He Admits When He’s Wrong

A man trying to apologize to his wife after a quarrel in the bedroom.
ยฉGetty Images/Unsplash.com

This man knows when he is to blame completely for the argument and doesn’t hesitate to apologize. He knows that this doesn’t make him weak or passive, but rather he views this as a sign of maturity. He knows that the optimal resolution for an argument initiated by him is to cleanly, quickly, and explicitly apologize to his better half.

He Keeps His Ego in Check

A man and a woman standing next to a street light.
ยฉPatrik Velich/Unsplash.com

Ego has no place in the argument for these men. They leave it behind when verbally jousting with their partners. They know that the ego might compel them to go for the win. But they know this will damage the love in the bond, and they want to heal, not devastate the good thing that they have.

He Remains Curious

A woman sitting on a couch talking to a man.
ยฉBlake Cheek/Unsplash.com

A man who wants to stay in love even after an argument chooses to remain curious. Even in the midst of the disagreement, he chooses to inquire about the reasons and nuances of the issue that bothers his partner. This display of curiosity, even under fire, shows that this is a man of high emotional intelligence who will do anything for his partner.

He Focuses on the Issue

An angry woman is yelling at her boyfriend.
ยฉGetty Images/Unsplash.com

He doesn’t use the argument as an excuse to criticize the character, qualities, or attributes of his partner. He knows to remain focused on the issue and not let his attention or the fight wander.

He Protects Her Dignity

A couple having an argument at home.
ยฉGetty Images/Unsplash.com

He loves this woman and never, under any circumstances, would he think about denigrating or besmirching her. That is why you will never find him resorting to low blows. He knows how to get mad, minus the meanness that comes with it.

He Ends the Fight with a Reaffirmation

A man and a woman standing near a table.
ยฉMesut รงiรงen/Unsplash.com

He is the kind of man who ends a fight soundly with a reaffirmation of his love and appreciation. He tells her that this pointless argument is now over and that they, as a couple, are okay, and he loves her. Peace isn’t automatically attained; it needs to be erected and established every time a fight concludes.

He Fights Like He Wants to Protect the Relationship

A man standing next to a woman in a field.
ยฉMichael T/Unsplash.com

This is the man who fights like he is protecting something truly precious, something that he can’t fathom losing. He doesn’t want to leave and plans to stay once the fires of anger and resentment cool down. He loves her even in the good times and the trying ones. He believes in handling things and then staying around for the rebuilding phase.

Final Thoughts

ยฉMurat Ts./Unsplash.com

A man who wants to stay is the one who handles arguments sensitively and wisely. He knows that choosing to stay and handling the situation amicably doesn’t make him weak. He knows that this isn’t about getting even with his love or getting in the last retort. It is about remembering that you are fighting for the relationship and the love that it embodies.

Dating & Confidence

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About TMM Staff

The Modest Man staff writers are experts in men's lifestyle who love teaching guys how to live their best lives.

If an article is published under TMM Staff, that means multiple writers worked on it. For example, sometimes several of us have experience with a certain brand, so we collaborate to publish a more thorough review.

Or, if an article was originally written by one person, but then it was updated by someone else, we'll re-publish it under TMM Staff.

Remember: all of our articles (including those below) are written by real people with decades of combined experience in men's fashion and lifestyle topics.

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