Life after divorce can feel.. a little strange. One minute everything feels familiar, then suddenly you’re looking around wondering what happened to the person you thought you were. But that person is still in there, probably waiting for a chance to stretch his legs and breathe again.
Sometimes it just takes a few nudges (and maybe even a laugh or two) to get that old self back. Here are 18 ways to feel like yourself again after a divorce. Some are small, some bold, but all of them help you stand a little taller and remember that you’ve still got it.
1. Claim your own space
Your home feels different now, right? Kind of like it needs a reset. Giving your space a fresh look with a few personal touches can really set the tone for your next chapter.
Even just moving furniture around, adding some plants, or hanging new art can feel surprisingly refreshing. You walk in and think, yeah, this feels like me again.
2. Get some fresh air
Nothing clears your head like getting outside. Fresh air, sunshine, maybe even a breeze that makes you grin for no reason at all.
Whether it’s a walk through the park, sitting by the water, or hiking up a trail, being out in nature just hits differently. Plus, it feels good to feel small under a big sky for a change.
3. Reach out to friends
You know those friends you’ve barely seen because life got so busy? Now’s a perfect time to call them up.
Sometimes, grabbing a drink or catching a game with people who knew you before everything changed can feel like hitting the reset button. They probably miss you just as much.
4. Try something you’ve always wanted to
Remember that thing you kept saying you’d do “someday”? Well, guess what. Someday is here.
It doesn’t have to be huge. Maybe cooking classes, learning guitar, or joining a pickup basketball league. Just something that makes you think, “Why did I wait so long for this?”
5. Travel somewhere new
Even if it’s just a weekend trip a few towns over, traveling shakes up your perspective in the best way.
You start noticing little details, meeting new people, and realizing the world feels a lot bigger than your problems. Plus, it’s kind of fun to be a little anonymous for a bit.
6. Start moving your body
No need to become a gym rat overnight unless you’re into that. Just move. Stretch. Lift something heavy. Break a sweat.
You’ll feel stronger and more alive, and that energy carries over into everything else you do. Not to mention, you’ll probably sleep like a baby after.
7. Eat something amazing
Food can be therapy if you let it. Treat yourself to something that makes your taste buds sing. Maybe it’s a giant burger dripping with sauce, or maybe it’s something fancier. The point is to sit there, savor it, and just enjoy being alive.
8. Laugh a lot
It might feel impossible at first, but finding something that makes you laugh again can feel downright magical.
Comedy shows, silly movies, even hanging out with that one friend who never stops cracking jokes. You’ll feel lighter before you even realize it.
9. Work on your confidence
Confidence sometimes takes a hit after divorce. But guess what? You can build it back, brick by brick.
Dress sharp. Stand tall. Speak up. Compliment yourself in the mirror if you have to. At some point, you’ll catch yourself thinking, hey, I actually feel pretty good.
10. Volunteer your time
Helping someone else out when you’re feeling low has a way of lifting you up, too. Find a cause that matters to you, and give it a little of your time. You’ll feel useful and connected, which is a feeling that sticks with you.
11. Focus on small wins
You don’t have to fix everything overnight. In fact, you really shouldn’t. Make your bed. Knock out a few chores. Finish a project you’ve been putting off. Those little victories add up over time, and pretty soon you realize you’re on a roll.
12. Spend quality time with yourself
Get comfortable being alone. Not lonely, just alone. There’s a difference between the two. Go see a movie, sit at a café with a book, or just sit on your porch with a drink and watch the world go by. It can feel surprisingly peaceful.
13. Upgrade your wardrobe
You don’t need to toss everything, but adding a few fresh pieces to your wardrobe can feel like stepping into a new version of yourself. It’s not even about impressing anyone else. You just feel sharper when you know you look good.
14. Discover a new hobby
Sometimes all you need is a new obsession to remind you how much fun life can be. Woodworking, photography, chess, brewing your own beer, whatever catches your eye. Something about learning something new just lights you up inside.
15. Host a get-together
You might feel like hiding out for a while, but opening your home to friends or family can be surprisingly healing.
Throw a casual barbecue, game night, or whatever suits your style. Watching everyone enjoy themselves on your turf feels pretty awesome.
16. Reflect but don’t dwell
Take some time to think about what you learned and how far you’ve come. Give yourself credit for making it through. Write it down if you feel like it. Then set it aside and focus on what’s next. No need to overthink.
17. Treat yourself to rest
You have probably been running on fumes for a while now. A little rest does wonders. Take a nap, sleep in one morning, or just lie back and let your body catch up. You’ll wake up feeling more like yourself again, no kidding.
18. Celebrate your wins, big and small
Every step forward counts. Even the ones nobody else notices. Grab a coffee, toast yourself, and smile at how far you’ve come. You deserve it. Be excited for what lies ahead, and keep a positive attitude because you’re doing better thank you think.
Ask Me Anything