When it comes to tests in relationships, the thing is, not all of them are intentional. There are some ways that people end up testing their partners even without knowing or catching on to the fact that they are doing it. They don’t plan on measuring or assessing their partner’s love, commitment, or emotional investment; it just happens inadvertently and unconsciously. They want to gauge whether their partner will remain committed and stand by their side for the times to come. This causes them to subconsciously conduct certain tests, ones that subtly test their partner’s love. Read on and learn about these subtle ways right here.
They Pull Away to See If You will Follow
Distance can be used as a tool for testing a partner’s true level of commitment. Sometimes, people pull away knowingly from their partners, simply because they want to see whether they will notice or if they will try to close this gap and come closer after it.
They Downplay Their Needs
Another way people end up testing their partner’s commitment is when they stop asking for things like respect, affection, attention, and so on directly. Instead, they minimize their needs, simply to see whether their partner will catch on and fulfill them by themselves or not.
They Bring Up Small Issues Repeatedly
A person might start bringing up small, barely noticeable issues in the relationship frequently. They don’t follow through and discuss these issues in depth. They merely broach the subjects repeatedly to see whether their partner will take them and these issues seriously at any instance or not.
They Act “Fine” When They are Not
Sometimes people act as if nothing is amiss and everything is fine with them and their disposition, even when it isn’t. They do this to see if their partner is capable of reading between the lines or just simply believe them and take their words as they are without probing further.
They Delay Responding
Sometimes, a person might delay sending messages or responding to texts from their partner deliberately. They don’t always do it as a game, sometimes it is their silent and subtle way of seeing whether their partner will react with consideration, tenderness, or curiosity towards this inconsistency or not.
They Mention Past Hurt Casually
They might bring up a painful memory, an anecdote, a joke, or even a passing comment that their partner made in the past. They do this to see if their partner will notice, take heed, and handle things differently in the future or not.
They Challenge Your Consistency
Another thing that people might do to check their partner’s emotional investment is to challenge their consistency. They might do so by cancelling plans all of a sudden, altering their predictable and anticipated behaviors, and generally being capricous once in a while. This is done to see if their partner’s effort will remain consistent and the same despite it all or not.
They Seek Reassurance in Indirect Ways
Instead of inquiring whether their partner loves them or not, a person might assert that their partner doesn’t love them at all. Then, they simply sit back and observe how their partner will respond to this in the moment.
They Test Your Patience During Stress
A person might start acting unreasonably and become harder to deal with when they are feeling emotionally overwhelmed and stressed out. They still watch how their partner reacts, whether they choose to stay with them and accord reassurance or if they withdraw and leave them wallowing in their misery.
They Compare Themselves to Others
Sometimes, people start comparing themselves to others, not because they are insecure or unconfident, but because they want to gauge the way their partner and the others around them truly see and perceive them.
They Push Boundaries Slightly
Another test that people unconsciously employ to test their partner’s commitment is by slightly pushing and intruding upon their emotional and physical boundaries. They do this to see whether their partner respects themselves and, by that connection, the relationship or not.
They Revisit Old Conflicts
Sometimes people bring up arguments and conflicts from their relationship’s past. They do this not because they want to reignite conflict but simply to see if their partner has learned from the past and, if so, what things are they going to do differently about them this time.
They Withhold Affection Briefly
People can sometimes dial back on the intensity of the warmth, affection, and attention that they extend towards their partner. They do this to simply check whether their partner will notice or not and, if they do, just how they will respond in either case.
They Express Doubt About the Relationship
Sometimes people might start passing statements about their relationship not working or their partner not being attentive enough and voice other doubts about their relationship to their partner. They do this to see if their partner will respond to assuage their apprehension and reinforce their commitment in the relationship or not.
They Watch How You Handle Their Vulnerability
When a person opens up and shows vulnerability, no matter how slightly, they are actually paying close attention to how their partner will respond. That reaction tells them far more about their level of commitment than words ever can.
Final Thoughts
Most of these behaviors aren’t pernicious or manipulative by nature; they are actually protective. They stem from past events and experiences, the insecurities that people have in their hearts, and the desire to feel safe in their relationships. The important thing is to not let such doubts remain unspoken and instead convey them to each other through honest and consistent communication. This will keep things light and the compatibility strong in your relationship.
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