Relationships aren’t founded without the slightest doubt of any tragic end to the relationship. But many times at the start, you may feel so infatuated towards your potential that even the very obvious red signals get overlooked. You either mentally minimize their potential impact on your future, or you decide to move forward with the conviction that your love will heal the brokenness in your partner. This is the biggest mistake most people make; love alone can never be enough to heal someone or to sustain the happiness in a marriage or partnership forever. If your partner is manifesting clear red flag energy and you choose to turn a blind eye to it, it’s you who is going to suffer in the end. If trust, respect, emotional maturity, and honest communication are nonexistent in your relationship dynamic, then it’s high time you recognize the lack in your partner’s character before your life becomes miserable due to a terrible partner by your side. Here are 15 ways you can tell if your partner is miserable and what patterns you should never ignore. Even if he tries to hide behind a mask of perfection, some behaviors just can’t stay hidden for long.
He Lies Frequently
Honesty is the best policy, not just in your dealings or transactions but also in your relationships. If your partner is a habitual deceiver and an inveterate liar, it gets hard to trust them. This leads to a degree of mistrust where even the truth they tell starts seeming like dishonesty, and trust once eroded can never be regained.
He Blames Others for His Mistakes
A terrible partner is easier to spot than you may think. He not only lies, he also loves to play blame games. He is a master manipulator and makes you feel guilty for every conflict or problem that surfaces in your relationship, because holding himself accountable for his wrongdoing would require him to change himself for the better and guess who is not ready to change?
He Constantly Criticizes You
Constructive feedback and positive criticism meant to “repair” is always a healthy communication tool in a marriage or partnership. But if a partner goes overboard with criticism and not even a single conversation goes by without pointing out your flaws, then you are in deep trouble, as with time this constant cycle of negativity will drain the energy out of you. You will be doubting your sanity, your decision-making power, and even your basic adult functioning if you stay with such a terrible partner.
He Dismisses Your Feelings
An ideal relationship is not just romantically fulfilling but also feels emotionally safe. If every sorrow or joy you share with them is downplayed or met with dismissal, mocking, or indifference, then there is something seriously wrong with your partner. They lack the emotional capacity to feel empathy or happiness for you. This kind of relationship will make you feel emotionally isolated while still being with a partner if you continue to live as invisible in your own home.
He Doesn’t Listen
A terrible partner is an awfully terrible listener as well. He pretends to be busy himself on the phone or the football game on TV while you try to hold a conversation with him. He seems distracted and uninterested when you express your desire to spend some distraction-free time together. Even when you succeed in grabbing his attention, that too is momentary; he either stops you midway, starts looking at his phone or simply ignores what you say. This never allows room for emotional depth to develop in your connection.
He Becomes Emotionally Distant
Emotional detachment in response to every small and big conflict is how he navigates the lows in your relationship. This closes the door to healthy and effective problem solving and conflict resolution. This leads to unhealed wounds and resentment and you stop sharing your thoughts and feelings as well. The conversations become mechanical, only centered around the matters of shared interest or responsibility. You two live more like two roommates than soul-deep partners.
He Gives the Silent Treatment
Like I mentioned before, a terrible partner is an expert blackmailer. He uses emotionally abusive tactics like gaslighting, stonewalling, or silent treatment to maintain his control. You will always be in self-doubt because this is how they want their victims to be, always confused and unsure of their own selves, which keeps them from walking away, as they hope someday they can communicate better and make them understand the hurt silent treatment inflicts upon them.
He Shows Controlling Behavior
Some men operate on coercion and control. They micromanage all your affairs; every joint matter is unilaterally decided by them, and they control your mobility and socializing even. There comes a point in time when you have been cut off entirely from your longtime connections and outside world if you don’t realize the gravity of the restrictions and control they impose on you. They will strip you of your autonomy and you will be trapped with no emotional support.
He Gaslights You
Gaslighting is the art he has perfected. The motive: to undermine your self-worth and self-confidence. He may label you overdramatic and the “sole problem maker” for your justified reaction to his atrocities or hurtful patterns. Instead of admitting his hurtful patterns or actions, he targets your memory and self-confidence and you end up wondering, maybe you really were too loud? Should I have voiced my grievances in a softer tone? Or even doubting your own memory so much that you start blaming yourself for all the chaos.
He Avoids Spending Time With You
A partner who gives you the bare minimum can never be a great partner. If he makes you feel lonely while you are still married or committed to him. You crave connection and deep, meaningful conversations, while he appears too busy to be spending time with you. This is a clear sign he doesn’t want to strengthen emotional intimacy with you.
He Is Always on His Phone
Excessive phone use while he is in your company, making you feel awkward and too clingy, reveals where you stand in his priority list. He wants the benefits of companionship without the emotional efforts of a good partnership.
He Makes Hurtful “Jokes”
A partner who uses insults disguised as jokes, laughs at your vulnerabilities and weaknesses, and passes passive-aggressive jabs publicly is a terrible person to spend your life with. Without mutual respect, no relationship is worth your emotional energy and time.
He Never Supports Your Goals
A terrible man is never an emotionally supportive partner. Instead of support, he creates impediments in your way to success. He secretly wishes for you to fail because he is not a secure man. His jealousy and insecurity stop him short of celebrating your achievements.
He Breaks Promises Repeatedly
The best partner is a reliable and consistent one, but a man who never fulfills his promises and fails to deliver on his words again and again loses a woman’s trust forever. The woman loses trust, which chips away at the emotional connection and soon they both are on their own despite living under the same roof.
He Makes You Feel Small or Worthless
Women have a deeply human need to feel loved, cherished, and celebrated for their existence. A man who never appreciates her for her efforts, never compliments her for her appearance or her intelligence, and never lets go of a chance to discourage her or belittle her when she achieves an important milestone professionally or personally is definitely not a great man.
Final Thoughts
No two people in even the most perfect marriages or partnerships can claim to be perfect. Every individual comes with his or her own set of weaknesses and strengths, but the couple that reaches a middle ground is what makes the perfect couple. They navigate life together with patience, empathy, and forbearance. But when a partner is constantly unreliable, uncaring, apathetic, uncommunicative, and emotionally unavailable, then it would be sheer madness to ignore these red as ignoring these and consciously choosing to enter a serious relationship with them will only make your life a living hell.
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