At some point in life you may question yourself, is she the one? The answer will never be as simple as in the movies. There won’t be fireworks or violins playing in the background. Most relationships do not look like what you imagine. Instead, more practical questions come to mind.
Is this the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with? Will she help you carry some of the weight during the hard times?
It’s comical to think that when you are with the right partner, the relationship isn’t supposed to be overly dramatic. In fact it should feel the opposite of that: calm, steady, and warm in a way that you can’t quite articulate.
You will find this warmth in the simple everyday moments. Warmth that is a result of a deep and strong connection. You will spend time and be patient in order to recognize what most people will miss. It won’t be flashy and it will not look like a scene from some romantic movie. But it will matter.
Here are some signs that the lady in your life is actually the one for you.
You Can Be Completely Yourself Around Her
You never have to pretend to be someone you’re not with. You never have to try to impress her in any way. This is how women should be. You enjoy her presence and you don’t have to worry what she may think about you. Some things can be problematic, but there is no avoiding them. In a good relationship, opposing views do not escalate into a war. There may be a heated argument, but beneath it all is a sincere effort to listen to the other person and overcome the issue.
She Believes In Your Goals
She doesn’t have to show respect in huge, grand gestures. Respect can show in small ways. Respect can be in how she listens to you, the way she talks about you, how she advocates you, and how she disagrees with you but keeps you from having an opinion. Any relationship without respect will not last long.
She Makes Difficult Conversations Possible
There is enough stress in life, from work, to bills, to family, and adulting. A relationship should not add to the chaos. When you’re with the right woman, it’s easy and calm. There’s no anticipation or concern about having a fight or saying something wrong. You feel at peace, like you’re taking a break from all the stress you’re dealing with outside of this relationship.
She Shows You Respect
Grand romantic gestures and big surprises almost never create or help sustain a lasting relationship. What really counts is the small, thoughtful, consistent actions. Keep in mind that if she recognizes and appreciates your help with things around the house, having a conversation with her, or providing her with emotional support, all of these will contribute to a relationship that feels good and great to be in.
Being Around Her Feels Peaceful
Couples who are not intensely connected may feel the need to go and do something extreme. However, with real connection, peace, and joy, doing the most mundane activities together will be a great experience. The cherished moments that you will all be doing together are the quiet moments which may be sitting together on the couch, making dinner, or even running errands together.
She Notices The Little Things
Your true partner will not be controlling your life and making decisions for you. However, she will be the one who will push you to set, and reach, goals for your life. It may mean being suited for reminding others of their potential. What stands out the most is being reminded in constructive ways, not negative. It is true that people do want to see you succeed and when people want to see you succeed in a way that is not as negative as you may think.
Even Ordinary Moments Feel Good
For some couples, doing something adventurous together may be a highlight. However, having a true connection means enjoying even the most ordinary moments together. Going grocery shopping, cooking dinner together, or enjoying a movie together on the couch. It’s surprising, but even the ‘boring’ activities may become the most important moments going forward.
She Encourages You To Improve
The right partner won’t control you, but she may be the kind of person that pushes you to be better. This may be a positive way of reminding you that you can be better, or motivating you to take action in a more positive way. Contrary to the feeling of criticism, the feeling of constructive criticism is positive. It’s more about caring to see you improve and become your best self.
She Handles Conflict Like An Adult
What someone does during a conflict tells you a lot about the person. Some people become silent, and others escalate the situation to the point of being really ugly. Knowing how to do something in a constructive way is a sign of maturity. Instead of attacking people during a conflict, they keep their eyes on the issue. She does not care about winning the argument. Leaving the conflict is her goal.
You Trust Her Completely
Stress that comes from a lack of trust completely vanishes from the relationship. When trust is established, worries and doubts about her do not creep into your mind. The two of you have a strong silent agreement that the relationship is based on trust and she is being completely honest. This relationship has the two of you completely relaxed.
Your Core Values Are Similar
There is nothing more relieving than trust in a relationship. If there is enough trust, you will not be worried, and you will not be second guessing her all the time. Your values do not have to be completely aligned in order to create a strong relationship, but there do need to be a number of important similar values. Honesty, responsibility, and loyalty are important, and not everyone sees it. When these values are shared, making big life decisions with the partner becomes easier.
She Puts Effort Into The Relationship
Promises and words mean nothing and are just empty gestures. The right woman knows the relationship will not just maintain itself, and will put work in to keep the relationship strong. She engages. She organizes. She understands what you need. The work she does with you keeps everything even.
She Gives You Space When You Need It
There is individuality in relationships, and you should not have to change. Interests, friends, and time are your own, and she understands. Your independence is not taken as a negative, because you should have it. Actually, this independence is what keeps the relationship strong.
She Stays When Things Get Hard
Any partner can be loving with a simple relationship. When life starts getting challenging is when the partner is put to the test. Work, finances, and family issues are a mess, and that is when the right partner stays. She collaborates, supports, and deals with the challenges along with you.
Thinking About The Future Feels Natural
What lingers in your mind when thinking about what lies ahead is often a good sign. Where will you be living in the future? What do you envision your future life to be like? What are the future goals you are working towards? If she is the right one, you will picture her in all those future scenarios. It won’t feel forced. It won’t feel uncertain. It will just feel right.
Final Thoughts
The one is a very romantic notion, but in truth, it is a lot simpler. It is about finding an ideal fit. Someone, who with her presence, brings ease, strength, and purpose to your life. The right woman will not make your problems disappear, but she will be the reason and the source of your bravery to face those problems. And when you know that the person beside you brings the best out of you, you probably found the one and you just have to do all it takes to ensure that she will always be with you.
Ask Me Anything