It is not uncommon to hear women lament about where all the good guys have gone in the present dating world. The good guys that they wonder about have simply lost interest, not been rendered invisible. It isn’t that men are intimidated by the strong, independent women of today, but rather it is an aversion to certain behaviors that send the wrong signals. Emotionally stable and mature men who want a relationship to work notice these as red signals. They quickly avoid any such women because they choose to preserve their peace in the face of excessive drama. Read on and learn more about these 16 things that women do, mostly inadvertently, that send the wrong signals and repel men.
Always Testing His Effort
Good men are direct. They don’t play around and are clearly communicating what they want. They despise it when women constantly test their effort, like how long he waits for them in the car or texts them back. These are games that signal a woman’s emotional immaturity, and men immediately back off from them. They are looking for connection, not outright manipulation.
Talking about Exes
Women nowadays have a tendency to overshare when it comes to the topic of exes. They constantly inform their dates about the mysterious bad boys from their past. While it might be tolerable in moderation, men tend to not like such discussions. It signals to them an inability to move on or an unhealthy obsession. No man’s getting into a relationship with such a woman.
Being Too Independent
Women are independent now, financially, socially, and emotionally. This is a laudable development, but not when it is rubbed in a man’s face. He supports women just like any other guy, but he certainly doesn’t like a girl boss who doesn’t need anyone for anything. This signals that she isn’t looking for a long-term partnership.
Expecting Him to be a Mind Reader
Women are capricious creatures, and men have been trying, unsuccessfully, to predict what they are thinking since time immemorial. Modern women take things a bit too far with their expectations. They want a man to be a mind reader and immediately perceive what she’s thinking instead of openly communicating about it. Men see this as a turnoff because no matter what they do, they are being set up to fail in the eyes of the modern woman.
Overanalyzing Everything
A text, or even a simple remark from men, is put through the wringer of exorbitant analysis. Women dissect them like there are some hidden meanings to expose. It creates unwanted pressure and stress in the relationship. No man likes it when he is placed under constant scrutiny, so they choose to ditch the whole relationship instead.
Flirting to Raise Jealousy
Men really don’t like it when they are made to feel jealous, and the modern woman excels at this task. She will flirt with anyone she can as a test to see just how comfortable a man is in the relationship or for some asinine objective of gauging trust. Men simply don’t have the stomach or tolerance for such things and find them utterly immature.
Gaslighting
Contrary to what women might think, men today are more resilient and adept at recognizing gaslighting. They know when they are being manipulated into believing that they are at fault or being accused of something that they didn’t do. Men desire connection and respect, not manipulation or being someone’s puppet.
Denigrating Men in General
The modern woman is empowered, and somewhere along the way she lost respect for the other gender. They revel in denigrating and putting down men in general, calling them worthless, and so on. While she might grace their date with the polite label of “not like other guys,” it is the very act of disparaging his entire gender that just doesn’t sit well with him.
Always Expecting Perfection
Real men know that no one is without flaws. No matter what one does, these flaws or shortcomings don’t vanish. Women don’t consider this and always expect perfection in all aspects, be it appearance, attire, physique, finances, and so on. This reveals to men that women are more interested in judging rather than loving a person for who he is.
Playing Hard to Get
A little chase, mystery, and playing hard to get is fine, even enjoyed by men. But women tend to engage in excess, and that really dampens the mood for men. This shows that she is interested in the chase, not in the guy who’s doing it for her sake.
Excessive use of Social Media
Women love attention, and the rise of social media has significantly added to that desire. They love posting about their lives, dates, and interests online and rejoice in the likes that they receive. They might be on a date with a guy but will be more interested in their phones and notifications rather than connecting with him. This indicates to men an inability to remain present and a deep-rooted insecurity. Men want a woman who can remain present and in the moment, not a social media drone who can’t survive in real life.
Turning Everything into a Competition
Women keep score of everything in a relationship. They keep track of who texts first, who’s more caring, and who has a more hectic schedule. For them, everything is a game that can be turned into a competition. Men aren’t comfortable with this, as they want to connect and grow with their women, not compete against them in a bond that should signal love.
Not Showing Vulnerabilities
Modern women don’t share or show any vulnerabilities to men. They think that these emotional walls keep them safe, but they fail to recognize that they also isolate them. Men want a partner who can share her entire self with them: hopes, dreams, flaws, and all the other nuances. They will try for a while to get her to open up but then will eventually abandon all attempts. Therein lies the death of a relationship.
Ultimatums instead of Boundaries
Good men are very understanding and respect boundaries stipulated by women. However, it is when they turn these limits into ultimatums that men simply can’t abide. They want a relationship founded on trust and love, not threats or intimidation.
No Appreciation
Women love it when men praise them for their looks and thoughts. They certainly don’t like it when they aren’t appreciated in kind. No matter what they do or how much effort they exert, they are met with a cold silence. They are expected to be giving in a relationship, not valued. This makes men shut down and withdraw from the relationship faster than you might think.
Conflating Drama with Passion
Dramatic displays are the same as passion for the modern woman. She thinks that perpetuating chaos in a relationship brings emotional depth. But all it does is drive the man away, as he wants peace and tranquility. The relationship should be stable, not tumultuous and susceptible to frequent emotional ups and downs.
Final Thoughts
Women need to understand that the good men haven’t vanished or gone off the face of the earth. They are still here and waiting for the right woman to come along. However, they aren’t willing to play their games anymore, as they are fed up with the demands of modern dating. Women need to stop pursuing perfection and instead focus on looking inwards. Rectify your approach to dating, and these good men might just come back.
Ask Me Anything