Falling in love is a beautiful thing, but not all relationships are ideal. Some don’t bring you butterflies. They bring heartache. However, you might overlook red flags because you are deeply in love with someone. If you find yourself feeling lost more than loved, maybe you should pause for a while. Here are 17 relationship types that you should avoid:
Friends With Benefits
It sounds simple when both parties agree to keep it casual and no strings attached, but in reality, this relationship has complicated dynamics that are set to break your heart from the get-go. Let’s be real. Even if you agreed on keeping it casual, one person usually ends up wanting more, and that silent hope can lead to heartbreak. Establishing boundaries is also a common pitfall. Are you allowed to see other people? What happens when one catches feelings? Without emotional maturity and crystal clear communication, this type of relationship can be toxic.
The Ghoster Who Keeps Coming Back
At the beginning of the relationship, they shower you with affection. They are attentive, and they make you feel valued. The relationship hasn’t been defined, but you like each other, or so you thought. Then, when you feel like the relationship is progressing, they just ghost you. They’ll leave you wondering what happened. When you start moving on from them, they come back into your life again. This kind of relationship is manipulative and draining because it hurts to be just their option.
The “Almost” Relationship
“Less than lovers, more than friends” is how you can describe this relationship best. It thrives on ambiguity, and this dynamic is quite painful. You talk every day, cuddle, or hook up. You’re like a couple in every way, except commitment is missing. You’ll find yourself thinking, “What are we?” You invest your time, energy, and emotions in them, then they’ll hit you with, “I’m not ready for a relationship.”
The Love-Bombing Manipulator
Doesn’t it feel intoxicating when the person you like showers you with so much affection? The compliments, the gifts, and grand gestures keep coming. They make you feel special even if you’ve just met them two weeks ago. What makes this relationship especially toxic is that the person manipulates you with overwhelming affection. They are not looking for a genuine connection, but they use your emotions to bypass your boundaries and fast-track intimacy. They keep you hooked and then, they withdraw or even abuse you emotionally. There is a push-and-pull dynamic in this relationship to make you desperate and dependent on them.
The Married Crush
Having a crush on someone who’s married is one of the most emotionally confusing and quietly painful relationship types out there. It might have started as an innocent crush. You might have found them attractive or kind, then as time passes, the connection deepens. You know there’s no chance in this relationship, but you’ll often find yourself wondering about “What Ifs.” What if they feel the same about you, and their marriage is already rocky? But if they do, the stakes are high. Not only would you risk your own integrity, but relationships built on secrecy and betrayal rarely lead to anything healthy.
Pretending to Be Someone You’re Not
We all want to put our best foot forward when we like somebody, but when we pretend to be someone we’re not, it becomes exhausting. It’s a form of self-betrayal. You think your true self isn’t worthy of love, so you put on the version of yourself you think they’ll like, so you pretend to be interested in their hobbies, laugh at jokes you don’t find funny, and even dress up the way that person likes. What makes this dynamic complicated is that you were the one who hid your authentic self, but you’ll also be the one left questioning yourself if the person is really in love with you or just with the “perfect” version of yourself you created. This kind of relationship also attracts the wrong people. Eventually, you’ll end up with relationships that aren’t emotionally fulfilling.
The Fixer-Upper Fantasy
The person is already a walking red flag, but you ignore the signs because you think you can “fix” them. You believe that love, patience, and effort can change them into someone better, into the perfect version of a partner you had in mind. Seeing the potential in someone might start as a good intention, but eventually, you’ll feel drained because you’re in love with the version of them that does not exist. You’ll get hurt. You’ll tolerate emotional neglect or bad behavior because you believe you can transform them into a better version of themselves that you think they have in them.
The Secret Relationship
The secret relationship thrives on the thrill you’ll get. It seems like you both walked out of a romantic drama. The stolen glances and the hidden rendezvous might make your head spin and your heart beat faster, but you’ll end up thinking that you don’t matter because you are forced to keep your feelings hidden from the public. More often than not, secret relationships are driven by whisky situations, such as one person being in a relationship with another person. Love should be something you can sing from the rooftops, not something you have to hide.
The Emotional Vampire
It’s a one-sided dynamic that drains you slowly. This relationship is when one person feeds off the energy from the other person. The relationship is all about them- their dramas and their needs. They don’t care about your needs. You become the person’s emotional crutch while also making you responsible for their moods. The dynamic of this relationship is draining. However, you can’t pull away even if you want to because they will guilt-trip you. You deserve someone who cares about you and energizes you, not drains your emotional reserves.
The Competitive Partner
When your relationship feels like competition, it’s exhausting. They are never proud or happy of your achievements because they are jealous of your success. They always want to be superior. They are in a relationship because they want to feel validated or superior. Your relationship feels like a scoreboard, and they should always be in the lead. You deserve someone who supports your growth and cheers you on.
The Ex Who Can’t Move On
The relationship has long ended, but your ex still makes appearances in your life like nothing happened. They could be all over your social media page, liking and commenting on your photos, or greeting you when it’s your birthday. They refuse to accept that the relationship is over. The ex uses nostalgia to manipulate you or guilt you for moving on with your life. It will leave you confused, thinking if you are cruel for shutting them down or if you made the right decision walking out of their lives. A person who truly respects you will honor your healing, not disrupting your progress in moving on.
The Drama Magnet
Their life is full of drama. When you’re dating a drama magnet, you are always on an emotional rollercoaster. Conflicts and arguments are always around the corner. It’s exhausting to be a part of their lives because it feels like you are walking through a landmine field. You’re walking on eggshells to prevent another argument from exploding. One minute, they’re loving. Next, they’re creating tension. The unpredictability is toxic.
The “Too Good To Be True”
They were perfect from the beginning, and the romance bloomed quickly. It feels like they came out of a romantic movie. They say the ideal thing, and you feel like you’re perfectly compatible. Something that’s “too good to be true” can feel curated. It seems like they are hiding a part of themselves, which is often because of insecurity. This relationship dynamic is toxic because of confusion or disappointment if they turn out not to be who they portray themselves to be. A healthy relationship takes time to build, so if it’s too good to be true, it probably is.
The Hidden Feelings For Your Best Friend
Having feelings for your best friend is a complicated relationship. You’ve fallen deeply for them, but you can’t confess your feelings because you’re afraid you’ll lose your friendship. This relationship is toxic because of the emotional limbo it creates. You find yourself fantasizing that they feel the same for you, too. You read too much into every gazebo or every effort they make for you. What makes this dynamic extra painful is that if they don’t reciprocate your feelings, you’ll end up losing the love of your life and your best friend.
The Ultimate Giver
The ultimate giver is always available for others, even if it means sacrificing themselves. They are dependable and selfless. They don’t ask anything in return. If they love you, they give all of themselves to you- their heart, time, and effort. This relationship dynamic is dangerous because the giver will feel emotionally drained at some point, especially if the other person just uses them. A relationship like this should be avoided because you deserve someone who values you for who you are, not for what you can do for them.
The Breadcrumb Dropper
Breadcrumbing is when someone gives you attention just enough to keep you hooked, but has no intention of being in a relationship with you. They are the masters of mixed signals. This relationship is dangerous because you’re left with confusion. One moment, they are confessing their undying love for you. Next, they’re gone. And when you start to move on from them, they’ll come back. You deserve someone to love you consistently and unconditionally.
The “On Again, Off Again” Rollercoaster
This relationship is a cycle of being in a relationship, breaking up, and going back. It’s an emotional rollercoaster that you find thrilling not because it’s exciting, but because it’s unpredictable. You go back into the relationship without the past issues being resolved, so it feels like temporary happiness. Still, there’s worry that the foundation you built on shaky ground might collapse anytime soon. The dangerous thing about this relationship dynamic is that it fools you into thinking there’s progress when there’s none. You hope that things will get better this time, but if the past issues haven’t been resolved, then it’s just the same drama with better marketing.
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