We all miss our exes at some time in our lives. It is a constant dance where we deliberate over texting them or not. Some of us get confused and wonder if this will lead back to the comfort that we found in the past, or merely closure of a bygone chapter of life, and even outright chaos. It doesn’t matter whether you are suffering from loneliness on a dark night or just want closure; the point remains that this is a complicated matter. Sending that text is bound to open some doors that you had long since closed. However, we still say that it is better to introspect and determine what it is that you are really looking for and what the associated risks are.
Jog Your Memory a Bit
Time tends to fog up our memory, and it becomes easier to romanticize our past relationship. We tend to remember our exes fondly and filter out the bad things. Rose-tinted glasses tend to filter out the flaws. You forget the frustrations, fights, and the general incompatibilities that made you two break up initially. So, it is better to sit back, give yourself time to think, and consider the entire picture of the past.
Loneliness Doesn’t Equal Love
You know you are human when you miss someone and want to be free from loneliness. However, remembering and missing someone simply because you are lonely is something different. If you are missing your ex, then it doesn’t mean you love them. It simply means that you are feeling lonely and trying to reach out to be free from solitude.
Don’t Text without Thinking
You know you are inviting disaster when you send texts filled with emotions late at night. You might send them without any regard or restraint at night, but this is a decision that you end up regretting at night. We highly recommend that you wait for about 24 hours before you act on your impulse. It will afford you the waiting time to ascertain the viability of your actions.
Ask Yourself What You Really Want from This Text
It is better to ask yourself about the purpose of the text. Are you looking to rekindle your relationship, establish a friendship, find closure, or just simply hang out? The point is, you need to be true to yourself and ask these intense questions.
Reopening Old Wounds
People move on after being dumped once. Your ex might have done the same. They might have embarked upon a new chapter of love in their life. At this point, texting them again can prove to be immensely disastrous. It might lead to emotional turmoil and unease. It is wise to determine whether they are in a relationship or not before you decide to send that text. It will be better for you both.
You Have Changed
You know, the guy that you were, the one with whom your ex fell in love? Well, it just might be possible that you are no longer that guy anymore. You have grown since then and have evolved into a different person. What made you both compatible at first might be gone now. So, it is best to keep this in mind while mulling over this decision.
Keeping Silent is the Best Policy
A conversation, face-to-face or over the phone, isn’t always the solution when it comes to attaining closure in a relationship. Silence can be the best policy in some cases, as it allows simple acceptance of the relationship’s end. Acceptance speaks louder than words and brings you both the closure that you want.
It Might Hamper your Healing
You broke things off with the intent to move on in your life. You are going through the process of gradual healing, and all is well. But with a small text, all that effort can go down the drain. Consider this: what if your ex texts back with a short reply? Won’t it stir up old feelings and the ever-present thinking? That might most probably be the case and will serve to disrupt your months of healing in a matter of minutes.
Maybe You are Just Bored
Ask yourself honestly if you are looking for a reconnection, reconciliation, closure, or are just plain bored. Boredom tends to camouflage itself as longing. Don’t give in to it and instead fill up your solitude with something productive and meaningful, not ambivalence and mixed signals.
The Response Might Not Be to Your Liking
You know what hurts? When your ex responds in an unexpected and undesired manner. You need to remember that you can’t control how your ex responds. That is why you should keep this in mind before you decide to send that text.
Ask Yourself if You Would Text Them If They Didn’t Reply
Go on, ask yourself this question and remember that if the answer is “No”, then you most definitely shouldn’t do it. That would mean that your motivation for this text wasn’t reconnection, but rather, validation.
Reigniting Old Patterns
You might tell yourself, it is just a text, what’s the harm it could do? Oh boy, let us tell you that it most definitely can do a lot of harm. It can mess up your mind, your behavior, and play havoc with your love life. It can stop you dead in your tracks on the road to healing, and it can hurl you into a series of unfortunate events that will cause you to question that dumb text. So, just don’t do this without giving it some serious thought? It simply isn’t worth it.
What would you Say If They Texted You
Now, why don’t you put yourself in your ex’s place for a minute? Consider how you would respond if they texted you. Would you be sweet or find this act weird and unnecessary? Whatever answer you get should dictate your own conduct.
People Don’t Change Easily
You need to remember that it is entirely possible that your ex hasn’t changed or grown out of the kinks that broke you up the first time around. Chances are that they are stuck in the same rhythm, and reconnection would mean repeating the same mistakes.
The Fine Line between Closure and Curiosity
Curiosity means that you want to know what your ex is up to, who they are meeting, what they are doing, and other details about their life. Closure is simply wanting peace and the freedom to move on. Don’t conflate the two because that would bring you pain.
Remember, Forward is Better
It is better to keep moving forward after a breakup and search out something new and better. That principle is contradicted if you get stuck in a loop where you keep going back to your ex.
It will happen if it is Truly Meant to Be
If you are destined to end up together again, then it will happen regardless of what you do. You won’t have to send a drunk text to get their attention. Real connection happens when both partners approach it with deliberation and clarity, not impulse.
Final Thoughts
Texting isn’t difficult my friend, it is as easy as apple pie. But why text someone you broke off with long ago? It isn’t right, and it isn’t recommended. You are putting yourself at serious risk of heartache again, and the same goes for the other guy. That is why it is crucial that you give this issue the attention and focus that it demands, because if done wrong, it can spell disaster for you and your ex. So, choose your next move wisely.
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